Are You John Travolta’s Type?

'Beautiful' Mr. Zanzi

What have we gleaned from the flurry of lawsuits — several of which have been dropped — by a few men who claim to have come into contact with John Travolta, 58, when he’s all horned up?

1. The Chicken and The Purse
Reports indicate that young men he fancies (chicken) can make a cool $10k+ just from a quick flashing by Mr. Saturday Night Fever (the purse)…

Travolta offered [Fabian] Zanzi $12,000 for his “discretion and silence.”

2. Casting Couch Redux
From the court papers, it sounds like the Pulp Fiction actor may have slept his way into a few roles in the 1970s — all of them? — and the in the filed papers the therapist says he thinks others should suck it up and follow in his questionable path.

…Travolta, who allegedly began masturbating, then got up and screamed at the plaintiff “how selfish he was; that Defendant got where he is now due to sexual favors he had performed when he was in his ‘Welcome Back Kotter’ days,” the suit said.

3. The Tipoff
If Travolta’s got a robe on, or anywhere near a massage table, you might want to just assume position!

As Zanzi approached, Travolta dropped his bathrobe and “became completely naked,” the suit said. “Travolta proceeded to forcefully embrace plaintiff,” it said, “causing plaintiff to continue to experience pain, shock, embarrassment, distress and fear.”

“For the first hour the massage was without incident, other than he kept purposefully sliding the towel down that covered his buttocks to reveal about half of gluteus area,” the suit states.

4. Mr. Nasty
If he doesn’t get his way, it could get ugly, fast.

When Zanzi asked to be released from the embrace, “Travolta maintained a hard and painful grasp on plaintiff’s hands,” the suit said.

When the therapist threatened to call police if he was not returned to where he was picked up, Travolta drove him back, although calling him “selfish” and a “loser” on the way, the court papers said.

5. Little Top Bunkers Preferred
From the looks of these gents with the lawsuits, and the quotes from the lawsuits, it sounds like he prefers little men who are good at pitching.

Travolta then told Zanzi “that he was beautiful and asked plaintiff to ‘take me, I will take care of you, please,’” the complaint said.

Say something nice to me! (New Line Cinema)

6. No Fatties
Sure it’s rich coming from him, but this is Hollywood, and he’s a BIG star, so are we really all that surprised?

The actor told him he could “make millions and be famous” if he lost some weight and adapted to same-sex relations, the suit said.

7. Cha-Ching
If it did work out…there’s Kelly Preston to deal with, what looks to be a toupee and some serious man boobs, but you’ll be rich?!

The complaint said Travolta told the therapist that “he was smart enough to learn to enjoy it, and when he began to make millions of dollars, that it all became well worth it.”

Quiz time. You see Travolta in your gym, massage parlor, cruise ship…do you:

A. Get out of your high heeled shoes!
B. Find a robe for him!
C. Suck that belly in!
D. Say nice things to him!
E. Run in the opposite direction!

Exclamation mark overload, I know. Felt somehow appropriate in this instance.

Facts provided by CNN:
Lawyer: ‘Droves’ of Potential Plaintiffs in Travolta Sex Suit
Cruise Worker Accuses John Travolta of Sex Assault