The 9 Best Gender-Neutral Greetings, Ranked

Air Canada, are you listening? 'Cause we've got sooo many options.

Air Canada recently announced its plans to drop the gendered salutation “ladies and gentlemen” from its on-flight greeting. While the choice is obviously a win for trans and nonbinary inclusivity, it’s also the perfect opportunity for us all to expand our lexical arsenal with some gender-neutral “hellos.”

For starters, why not try “Listen up, fuckers!,” which one Twitter user aptly pointed out is both gender-free and attention-grabbing. A double whammy!

But that’s only the beginning. Below, we’ve pulled together our list of preferred gender-neutral greetings, ranked from our fave to absolute most fave.

  1. “Ahoy, mateys!”

    Grace and Frankie/GIPHY

    Are pirates the next iced coffee for the queer community? Probably not, but a girl can dream.

  2. “Good morning, Krusty crew.”

    GIPHY

    Is a morale boost in order? Try this Spongebob classic.

  3. “Greetings, earthlings.”

    GIPHY

    It’s gender-neutral, geek-friendly, and applicable anywhere on the planet. Well, at least until interstellar travel becomes a thing. Then it’ll just be charmingly retro!

  4. “Listen up, fives. A ten is speaking.”

    GIPHY

    For when you need to tap into your inner Jenna Maroney.

  5. “What’s up, buttercup?”

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    This greeting is fun, but warning: It does leave you open to cringey responses like “What’s shakin’, bacon?”

  6. “Get in, loser, we’re going shopping.”

    GIPHY

    It’s sassy and a Mean Girls reference. Thank you, next!

  7. “Hi, folks.”

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    This works in so many contexts. (Double hand wave optional.)

  8. “Howdy, y’all.”

    GIPHY

    Because Kacey Musgraves and Lil Nas X are havin’ a year, and you can too, partner!

  9. “Theydies and gentlethems…”

    Billions/GIPHY

    It’s formal, inclusive of gender-nonconforming people, and cute AF. You listening, Air Canada?

Brooklyn-based writer and editor. Probably drinking iced coffee or getting tattooed.
@_sammanzella