WHAM! BAM! I AM... A MAN!"

I saw this performance from George Michael and Wham! (Andrew, Shirlie and Dee C.) on American Bandstand in March 1983. I was 13 and, basically, it was like “Gaaahhhhh!"

I remember swooning somewhere deep inside. I couldn't see enough of them. The style, the leather jackets, the hair, sexy and playful, silly and flirty and fey and dancey and cocky and just right in some then-unnameable way. He was 19! Some kind of sex would be happening where he was!

I spent the next few years mowing yards listening to Wham!, Prince, Whodini and all the “Roxanne” raps on my headphones while mowing yards or dancing at school dances. And George always seemed a little goofy. Sexy in some cheesy and obvious way but still like a champion for all of us big-eyed young timid types who liked big music, floppy hair, tight pants and pop.

Peeking at the Wham! Wikipedia entry, this is my favorite line about their early days: "Notoriety and increased newspaper and magazine coverage were duly achieved with their antics of placing shuttlecocks down their shorts during performances on their first tour.

Then they made it BIG: “Careless Whisper” was a symphony, irresistible and sweeping. (Props to Beth Ditto for her amazing re-imagining of it.) “Everything She Wants” is a perfect song.

Then, the solo stuff: “Faith” is strummy, clean, crackling melodic magic. “One More Try” was all gorgeously doomed hopes, wanting, falling and then rediscovering hope. I always wanted to go back in time and slow dance to it with a boy at a school dance.

Yet it was always weird, and I never quite understood why George often played opposite women romantically in his videos. I mean, I get it—at the time it was expected, but still. It never seemed remotely authentic. Still I couldn’t hold it against him. My small-town scared self knew what he was up against.

I used to wonder why Tania Harcourt-Cooze, the female model in the “Father Figure” video, was so pissed off, but maybe that was it?

She got that this romance charade was pointless.

But God, she was amazingly beautiful. Those huge shoulder pads in that massive those coats! That bob!

“Freedom ’90" was rousing, rising, soaring—with supermodels! Maybe one of the most stylish star-powered videos ever.

Linda in the world’s most cinematic turtleneck! Naomi! Cindy in the tub! Christy walking, pulling that massive gauzy fabric! That damn kettle!

Then the Mugler runway ridiculousness of “Too Funky” and Tony Ward in the “Fastlove” video (and the “Forget-Me-Nots” call out).

I love quoting George’s line that he reportedly delivered after being grilled by press following his bathroom cruising bust in Beverly Hills: "It was a stupid thing to do... but I've never been able to turn down a free meal"

Cue the spinning disco urinals!

And yes, the druggy driving shit in the 2000s was just weird. Getting older is weird. Aging gay pop stars. I guess this stuff is hard to figure out. And I don’t know why he died. But I hope he knows how much joy he brought to little pop-loving kids, queer and otherwise, who could appreciate his blousy bravado.

My teenaged and 20-something self cannot be grateful enough for George and Wham!’s mad, silly, sumptuous, unapologetic pop exuberance. Queerness that, even if it didn’t speak its name, sang it, banged it off the walls, and splashed it all over cheekily. All while wearing tight shorts, leather jackets, stubble and a cross earring.