We know when you ask “What’s so gay about Glee?” the obvious answer is “everything.”  But we’re here to break down the queerest bits of Glee into bit-sized morsels for your enjoyment.  Think of us as your gay cheat sheet to Glee fandom.

This week the girls take the relationship reins with a Sadie Hawkins dance, while Kurt encounters a new potential love interest in New York. Shocking disappointment this episode - NO UNIQUE STORYLINE. Total miss on the part of the Glee team, but we'll have to make due with the gay we did get.

5. Marley and Britt Don't Have A Good Pairing Smush Name. But when Britt approached Marley in the hallway after Finn announced the sing to your crush guidelines, we thought maybe we had a whole new lesbian ship to get behind.  No such luck, Britt was just lending her magical performance powers to Marley could ask Jake out.  Yuck.

4. Everyone Loves Sam. This now includes Blaine, who's feeling bad about crushing on the guy that he's setting the gays and straights can be platonic buddies example with, but who can say no to those lips? At least this crush is respectful and admittedly unrealistic (plus Blaine's still got Kurt's photo in his locker), unlike some others....

3. Tina No. Tina don't you remember a few weeks ago when you were trying to get Kurt and Blaine back together?  Tina weren't you listening when Blaine explained he has a crush on Sam, a boy? Tina didn't you know what a charming dude Blaine was already? How can this be a surprise to you? TINA WHO ARE YOU? (We feel for you girl, we really do, these things happen and we just don't want to see you get hurt like we know you will.)

2. Gratuitous Ass Shot.  On the other hand, we can totally understand Tina's unrelenting crush on Blaine, since it was partially explained in a montage where Blaine bent over in the front of the classroom.  We'd forget someone's sexuality too with that behind.

1. Kadam. Look, we are not renouncing our Klaine stan ways EVER, but we have to admit Adam was charming, the Apples were adorable (hi Joey!) and we want them all to stick around for a while.  So if that means Kurt and Adam get a couple of dates and a make-out or two, we're down. Just so long as he keeps Kurt smiling like that -- and Blaine comes back in and sweeps him off his feet in time for the season finale.

Previously: How Gay Was ‘Glee’?: Glee Actually