No, Glitter Testicles Are Not the Hottest New Beauty Trend

Get those nuts away from my face!

If you or your dog have colorful glitter balls, you’re officially doing too much.

After being shared on the Facebook pages of popular dog groomers like Groomery Foolery and Royal Paws Pet Salon, photos of dogs with glitter-coated testicles have recently gone viral, sparking both joy and horror.

“I just thought I would let everybody know the latest creative grooming trend is glitter balls!” wrote one groomer, who clarified that she would not be providing the service. She later revealed that she received death threats and harassing phone calls from people who believed she was promoting animal abuse.

But don’t be so quick to judge a ball by its color. Jordan Burns, a professional groomer and breeder from Kentucky, tells People that the dog with blue balls is actually her poodle. She took the photo back in March 2018 at the Columbus Pet Expo in Ohio.

“I actually didn’t do it for the grooming community,” Burns explains. “It was a joke between other breeders. We get a lot of backlash for having intact dogs and someone made a joke that we should start glittering our dogs’ balls to make them even more noticeable. So I thought a pet expo would be a great way to jokingly test that out.”

Burns nailed the look with a little corn syrup and edible cake glitter, which were safe for consumption in case her pooch licked his package.

Burns, who only glittered her poodle’s testicles because she was confident it wouldn’t bother him, insists that #glitterballs are not a new grooming trend. “This is not a service any groomer, including myself, will ever offer in the future,” she says.

“I have received some backlash and wanted to say that I would never put my dogs in harm’s way or mistreat them,” she adds. “This was a one-time joke among friends and not a trend.”

So there you have it. But how long until guys are flashing rainbow balls at Pride or color-coordinating their underwear ornaments for the holidays? Can a hanky code for scrotums be far behind?

Celebrity interviewer. Foodie and Broadway buff in Manhattan. Hates writing bios.
@brandonvoss