Oscar-winner (sigh) Gwyneth Paltrow and rock and roll tunesmith Chris Martin have announced their split in a blog post on Paltrow's unwanted gift to the world, GOOP. Referring to their move as a "conscious uncoupling", the uncouple still plan to consciously coparent Apple and Moses, who will still have to live with those names for the rest of their lives:

It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.

Rumors have already started to swirl regarding the cause for the split -- damn you Kabbalah! -- but as with everything, I'm sure Beyoncé is somehow to blame.