Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert will be sentenced today after pleading guilty to covering up a payoff to a man he allegedly molested as a teen when Hastert was a high school wrestling coach decades ago.

The case has unearthed a pattern of sexual assault, with at least four men coming forward to say Hastert sexually assaulted them as teens.

The details are enough to turn your stomach: Witnesses recounted how the Illinois Republican pulled a Lay-z-Boy up to the boys' showers while they bathed.

Prosecutors recounted "private one-on-one encounters in an empty locker room and a motel room with minors that violated the special trust between those young boys and their coach."

One boy was just 14 when Hastert reportedly performed a sex act on him.

But Hastert, 74, was once the highest ranking Republican in Congress—just two heartbeats away from the White House—and his high-powered friends are coming to his aid.

Ex-CIA director Porter Goss praised Hastert’s character and leadership, declaring many in Congress saw him as “Mr. Main Street, America."

Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay told the judge in a letter, “We all have our flaws, but Dennis Hastert has very few.”

He added that Hastert "doesn’t deserve what he is going through."

The irony, of course, is that the very party that wants to imprison trans people for going to the bathroom is asking the courts to turn a blind eye to a man who ACTUALLY assaulted young men in the lavatory.

Thomas Ewing, former Deputy Republican House Whip, was even more treacly in his plea, insisting Hastert has suffered enough.

“I can think of nothing more devastating to my friend than the current cause of action before your court,” Ewing wrote. "He cherished his reputation and legacy but even more he mourns the suffering and trauma it has caused his wife Jean, and their two sons, Joshua and Ethan."

Thankfully prosecutors aren't listening: Since the statute of limitations on the assault charges has long run out, they're asking for Hastert to be sentenced to six months in prison for setting up a series of withdrawals to a victim to avoid bank reporting laws.