Gossip Girl Lessons: ‘High Infidelity’

Instead of watching the Gossip Girl episode ’High Infidelity’, I could’ve been entertained and watched High Fidelity last night. The dialogue and story definitely would’ve been more fun to watch, but alas, my slavery to the fashions of Gossip Girl entrapped me again.

This week it was all about the accessories:

1. If you are going to stage a comeback, do it with Dior.

Dior 2012 Lady Dior Bag Nelly Yuki Gossip Girl

The Lady Dior Bag: For the woman who is better than Blair Waldorf.

Look who is back, Nelly Yuki! It’s really not important to the story line, but she really wins this episode with her handbags. This ’Lady Dior’ bag is stunning. Not to mention the clutch and gold bracelet combo she dons to the big gala event of the evening.
Nelly Yuki Gossip Girl Yin Chang

I can really pull an outfit together, even if I’m not popular.

Nelly wins most improved style from high school for sure.

2. Spiky necklaces are all the rage in minion wear.

Blair’s minions are more ridiculous than ever. They don’t just pick loud accessories, they wear all the loudest accessories one could find at a craft fair.

Gossip Girl Clarissa Explains It All

“Can you believe how awful we look?”
“Whatever we’re getting paid and it’s almost over.”

The only redeemable piece here is the spiky necklace on the girl wearing the neon jacket that was leftover from Clarissa Explains It All.

The other spiky necklace of the night was worn more minimally by none other than Harriet The Spy herself, Michelle Trachtenberg.

Michelle Trachtenberg Georgina Accessories Gossip Girl

Georgina Sparks rocks spikes.

Sure, Georgina wouldn’t like to be known as a minion, but seeing as she’s basically running Nate’s life this season instead of taking care of her own child, (Seriously, where the heck did she ditch that baby?) we can consider her a minion.

3. Want to look older? Wear amazing drop jade earrings.

Nate was banging someone underage but didn’t realize it until Serena’s boyfriend admits that it’s his 17 year old daughter. To be fair, no one on this show ever looks 17. How would he know?

Underage Nate Girl Friend Gossip Girl

I’m the best dressed 17 year old, ever.

4. Want to not look older? Keep wearing bedazzled headbands.

Really Blair? Give this look up.

Blair Waldorf Ugly Headbands Gossip Girl

Even I don’t understand why I’m still wearing these ugly headbands.

5. Bold colored dresses and minimal accessories make you look classy.

Serena and her mom really werked it with their bold colored dresses last night. Lily gave Serena some tough-love adult lessons last night, advising her to stay with a man that was cheating on her so she could be the most important woman at the society charity event gala. While she obviously remains the worst parent ever, at least she instilled a great sense of fashion in her daughter.

Serena and Lily Gossip Girl Prada Sign

In case you couldn’t tell we were fashionable, we have a giant Prada sign in our living room.

That was it from ’High Infidelity’ check back here next week when we find out what new trends we can steal from this otherwise super boring show.

Sue Funke is a comedic writer and performer living in New York City. Her style lesson: Always wear skirts and dresses that are long enough for you to sit on in the subway.