'Gossip Girl' Series Finale: What We Want To Happen
It's been more than two years since I stopped watching Gossip Girl religiously. Like many fans, somewhere between the time Serena developed a Marilyn-complex and started dating Nate's cousin (who bore a striking resemblance to a tadpole) and the arrival of a character named Ivy, my unabashed love for what was once television's most twisted teen drama intensely soured.
But tonight, my friends, we come not to bury Caesar -- but to praise him. Having only the bare minimum of knowledge about the past two and a half seasons of the clotheshorse'd CW drama (gauged mostly from a weekly Reality Index via Vulture), here is a list of things I'd love to see in tonight's series finale.
1. A makeover montage featuring Dorota
-Is Dorota even on the show still? I don't know! But I loved her! And everyone loves makeover montages! Why can't the show's sole redeeming character get a badass, three-minute makeover at Bergdorf's?
2. Nate's college graduation
-Everyone's favorite Man Bangs is the only one actually in school, right? On a lacrosse scholarship because his dad took a boat to the tropics with his trust fund? Well, that doesn't really matter. What matters is the character who I would've voted Most Likely to be Illiterate is now a "journalist". This is absolutely unbelievable based on everything I know about Nate's affinity for weed during the first three seasons; there's no way his reactions are fast enough to keep up with a Twitter feed.
3. Chuck and Blair start couples therapy
-Because what else is left? THERE IS NOTHING LEFT. Not since "Three words, eight letters" and the time Chuck sold Blair to his Uncle Jack for a night has there been anything left to pillage in this relationship.
4. A Choupette cameo
-I've been thinking about getting a kitten, and the one I google the most is Karl Lagerfeld's precious Choupette. This show has basically been a walking advertisement for Chanel since Day 1, and I think it's time for a shout-out that doesn't come with a gold strap and a quilted body. Plus kittens make everything more tolerable.
5. A masquerade ball
-There have been more masquerade balls than birthdays on this show and I'll be damned if they bow out without ridiculous couture gowns, ornate masks and updos, and three cases of mistaken identity.
6. Georgina admits to being Gossip Girl
-Georgina: beloved mother, supporter of leather leggings, speaker of near-fluent Russian, and most likely the only person on the show to be wearing most of her own hair. She is the Chekhov's Gun on this show. The answer to the show's long-running question has been right in front of us the entire time- let's face it. She's the only character on the show twisted enough to ruin her own life in order to (a) ruin everyone else's or (b) to have fun. She's the Freund of the group and the past six years have been a sick social experiment she's managed to disguise as "high school"/"college" for everyone else. THINK ABOUT IT.
XOXO