Gossip Girl Style Lessons: Monstrous Ball

This week Gossip Girl was all about coming out. Dan and Serena’s sex tape came out, Blair cut Serena and Dan out of her life for good (again), and it was also the cotillion where Nate’s child girl friend came out as evil Blair reincarnated. Was it worth watching? Well, only to learn about some new style trends. Let’s see what style lessons we learned this week:

1. Wanna look hip and modern? – Cut. It. Out.
There are different ways to do the cut outs this season. You can go for a Serena slotted sleeve:

I don’t know much about being a mother, but I do know that blue is your color.

Or you can do a Blair collar cut-out:

Old school is covering cut outs with lace, Blair shows some skin with these ’new school’ cut outs.

2. New look in layers: From tea cozy to Greek Goddess
If you need to make a statement in society, what you should do is begin in a shapeless cover-up, as seen here:

“I know you look like a fancy bag of potatoes, but just wait..”

And then strip it off..

And then, the potato transforms into a french fry..

And reveal a draped dress that would’ve fawned over four seasons ago on Project Runway.

You can see parts of my skin! It’s scandalous!

3. If you’re going for glitzy accessories, don’t forget to bling your phone.
Wearing giant diamond earrings with an equally large ring? Make sure your iPhone reflects your riches as well.

Dan is shocked by all the shiny things.

4. No matter how fabulous you’re dressed, look bored.
You can almost see them thinking of their next projects.

Everyone is over ’Gossip Girl’

Ahem, we mean they are super focused on acting as if their characters are fighting, again.

We can only assume next week they will recycle another story line and put it with some new fashions. We’ll be there watching, trying not to fall asleep. xoxo

Sue Funke is a stand-up comedian and social media writer for NewNowNext. She believes that while you’re never fully dressed without a smile, you should probably cover up your privates so you don’t get arrested.