In a social circle where lovers are passed around more than hors d’oeuvres, Gossip Girl dishes out some pretty twisted plot lines, but the characters always look super stylish not matter what. While it’s not as crazy fashionable as the ladies of Sex and The City, the wardrobe of these upper east siders is anything but boring. In honor of the final season coming up we thought we’d catch you up to the world of socialite madness with the lessons we learned through their fashionable actions in season five.
If someone that you’ve never met before claims to be your long lost cousin, you should obviously start coordinating immediately.
When you are the world’s most ambivalent parent due to social obligations, missing husbands, taking care of your ‘mooching’ new husband, and random pseudo family members stopping by – patterns work well. I mean everything about this look says, “I had no idea you were here! I was trying to read about myself in the paper.”
When you’re considering becoming royalty so you can make your family some extra millions, you must become a style icon. Here we see Blair reinforcing her image by wearing a beautiful dress in front of a picture of Audrey Hepburn.
Is your family thinking of throwing a reunion and making it a Studio 54 theme? Of course they are. Here you can see that nothing says ’70s and family love more than gold sequins.
When trying to ensure that you have the best engagement party for a man that you don’t love since you’re in love with Dan Humphries, no Chuck Bass, no wait, now you love do love prince, but you still really love HumpBass. Anyway, in this situation you should apparently.. dress like your grandma. Your minions that you’re yelling at are dressed pretty awfully. If you look like an even more eccentric old lady, you’re obviously their leader.
Are you trying to make a comeback to your bitchy ways? Well, copper is the color for you. Georgina knows that nothing says, “Let’s ruin lives” more than an up-due and a fierce jacket. (What’s up with Georgina always going “back to her old ways.” Did she ever really stop being a bitch? Also, where’s her baby?)
Coming back to haunt your son that you’ve completely mind f*cked? Well, don’t wear black, that’s so morbid! Pick out a nice steely gray to go with your eyes. Also, try to have Elizabeth Hurley by your side. Bitch is the super hot accessory for fall.
When you finally decide that you want to be with the rich guy, you should absolutely go all out. This reddish orange dress with gold accents says sophistication, and sex. Thankfully, Blair did not end up with Dan Humphries whose hair last season was so awful we kept him out of this recap. Nate was dressed like a commoner who really wanted to achieve the look of a potato sack, so he was out, too. (Not like, Out out though.) As for Blair’s partner in crime, Serena, well she’s hooking up with a drug dealer on the LIRR. But she’s storming off in a really fabulous red coat dress with sickening blue shoes. Classy.
Stay tuned fashionistas, we are style-capping all of season 6 of Gossip Girl. We are sure there are going to be more crazy looks, and ridiculous plot lines for us to learn from.
Sue Funke is a comedian, and fan of Gossip Girl. Her fashions say, “I am a writer, I listen to classic rock.. and don’t get out much.”