Looooove the yellow Bardot hair, and the retro light fixture accessory. Madness and joy! Gaga!
The Grammys were the usual bonkers parade of uninspired awardees and kooky/WTF onstage moments, like any good award show should be. Lady Gaga & Elton John opened the show (see below), Taylor Swift duetted with Stevie Nicks (and Ms. Swift’s vocals were very train wrecky; Stevie should have given her a booty bump pre-show), Beyonce covered Alanis Morrissette, mashed up with “If I Were a Boy” and proved to be a flawless machine (as always), and Celine Dion’s knobby knees came at you in 3D. Sort of like Roberta Flack’s face.
Taylor Swift won a buttload of trophies, and Beyonce and Gaga scored some too. Just read the full list of Grammy winners and nominees to get schooled. I’m just gonna post a lot of pics and offer comments. But nothing’s better than Katy Perry’s Twitpic in the parking lot with Snooki. That’s really all you need to see.
After the jump see freaky pics, and watch a bit of Taylor Swift, Stevie Nicks and Beyonce performing.
Here’s a snippet of Beyonkers raging with “You Oughtta Know”:
And now some pics…
Yikes! Adam Lambert is serving us red-carpet Oompah-Loompah skin tones with Liberace realness. Tone it down, gurl!
Oh, HELL no! Who is this bossy backstage power-bottom PR handler-woman all up in Beyonce’s bizness? That pointy finger is shrieking “To the left, TO THE LEFT” at Sasha Fierce. Maybe she thinks she’s talking to Solange???
Aaahhhhh, look at Brit-Brit sitting all demurely in the audience. It’s kinda sweet. And sad. She looks nice and sane, but I miss crazy Britney.
I practically exploded when I realized that Taylor Swift (who I sort of really like) and Stevie Nicks (who I utterly worship) were going to do a duet. Then Miss Taylor sort of barfed her way through “Rhiannon” totally off-key. Tragic. The gals sounded better (and Stevie rocked her tambourine) on “You Belong With Me” but I fear it was too late for redemption. Oy.
Watch a teensy bit of this mess below.
My best friend Leslie says she’s just being Gaga…
Gaga, clearly NOT “Speechless” cuz I can hear her crotch from here!
I’m guessing this isn’t the first time Elton John has had big, black, gloved hands jutting upwards in his general vicinity. Gaga is clearly amused.
P!nk is leaking all over the stage. Er… ewwwwww.
I don’t care who knows it: Joe Jonas, boring as he may be, is totally doing it for me in those glasses. Grrrrroooowwwwlllllll!!!!!
Even overrated Ke$ha is all like, “WTF??? Who is this little elfin girl-child onstage next to me?” This is some kind of weird baby-sitting gig gone very wrong.
Glee’s Lea Michele is looking so hot even Ricky Martin is turned on. Except that he’s not. Because… Well, you know why. Ahem.
Okay, I know Roberta Flack is a total legend. But I’m sorry… She’s looking like Mrs. Garrett meets that big orange stone-man creature from the Fantastic Four. She is killing me, and she is NOT doing it softly.
Say what you want about batty, bonkers, skinny Celine Dion, but bless her heart, she always commits to whatever she’s doing. She is truly FEELING this lame 3D Michael Jackson tribute number. Attagirl, CeCe.
And then there’s Beyonce, who’s gorgeous even when you can’t see her.
Annnnnndd… We’re out.