Can We Talk About…? The Fabulous Baker Twinks of “The Great British Baking Show”

The latest season has been a smorgasbord of bread puns and pert buns.

Can We Talk About…? is a weekly series in dire need of a male madam.

I only recently caught on to what so many homosexuals and gentleladies have known and loved for so long: The Great British Bake Off, or as it is known on Netflix, The Great British Baking Show. For the uninitiated, the series involves a baker’s dozen of amateur but still incredibly good bakers competing in a series of challenges to be crowned best of the bunch. Along the way there is some iteration of quirky hosts and a fabulous lady judge, plus silver fox Paul Hollywood—the disapproving daddy of our collective dreams.

Though Bake Off usually has, I’m told, a more intergenerational cross-section of dough-lovers, this season—Season 10, or Collection 7, on Netflix—is a goddamn smoke show crackling with twink energy.

Love Productions/Mark Bourdillon

Can you spot them? Oh, and at least one of them—as per the show’s tradition—is gay.

David is a gorgeous twunk international health adviser who says he ends every workout with his, sigh, boyfriend with a heaping helping of carbs.

Meanwhile, Michael is a fragile theater manager and fitness instructor who looks a bit like a hotter Freddie Mercury—like if the legendary Queen frontman had had his teeth fixed and couldn’t grow that glorious mustache.

Then there’s Henry, who is also fragile and plays the organ in his local church to help pay his way through college. He always wears a little tie while baking.

And finally, there’s Jamie, a twin who works as a part-time server, but who is not, as his looks would suggest, a Bel Ami model or an erstwhile member of the ’90s boy band 5ive.

I’m not sure if anyone but David is gay, so I won’t speculate, but can I just say how adorable and sweet they all are with each other?

It’s enough to make me hate men a little less. Just a little. American reality shows are always so cutthroat, but here everything is dialed down to a low simmer. Everyone is so supportive of one another, so helpful.

There’s no backstabbing, there’s no villain, there’s no “I’m not here to make friends!” They are here to make friends (and the occasional bread pun).

You and me both, David.

You. And. Me. Both.

It’s only a matter of time, however, before one of my Brit baker boyfriends gets sent home. Spoiler alert: Michael went home last week because he just couldn’t hack it in the technical challenges. The poor thing’s nerves are shit—he cut himself like five times in the first episode. How precious!

We find out who’s next to go every Friday as we wind down to the finale on November 1. I’m still crossing my fingers that David’s pert buns take him straight to the top.

Gifs: Ginges Be Crazy

Lester Fabian Brathwaite is an LA-based writer, editor, bon vivant, and all-around sassbag. He's formerly Senior Editor of Out Magazine and is currently hungry. Insta: @lefabrat