Harry Styles Is an Instagay Who Likes Threesomes and Poppers on “SNL”

"Why do guys always freak out when I ask them to spit in my mouth?"

Forget Larry Stylinson—do you ship Barry Styang?

Saturday Night Live’s 45th season continued last night with Harry Styles as both host and musical guest, and it wasn’t long before we saw the British heartthrob shirtless and in a harness.

In one memorable sketch, two Sara Lee employees (Cecily Strong and gay featured player Bowen Yang) confront the company’s Instagram manager, Dylan (Styles), about off-brand activity on the account.

Why would Sara Lee comment “Wreck me daddy” and “Destroy me king” on a hot photo of Nick Jonas? Turns out that Dylan has been mixing up the Sara Lee Instagram account with his own personal account.

Sara Lee also commented on the account of “some random fashion twink” with eggplants, water drops, a train, and a ghost emoji, which Dylan explains is a reference to “getting railed to death.”


Dylan has even been captioning images of Sara Lee products with his ramblings about feeling depressed after threesomes: “A little moody after being used. Why do guys always freak out when I ask them to spit in my mouth? Need a real king that can handle.”

“Sara Lee wrote that at 4 in the morning while he was still on a poppers high,” he admits.


After doing serious damage to Sara Lee’s image, both Dylan and Yang’s character—they threw a “harness party” in the Sara Lee offices—get off with a warning. “Full honesty, today Sara Lee DMed Shawn Mendes saying ’Check out this special holiday promotion,'” Dylan says. “A picture of my open throat?” Merry Christmas, everybody!

Yang tweeted that he and fellow gay SNL writer Julio Torres, who cameoed as the random twink, “made Mz. [Harry Styles] say queer nonsense,” and apologized to the Sara Lee company.


Styles, who has waved LGBTQ Pride flags and banners at his concerts, is famously coy about labeling his sexual orientation. The One Direction alum has, however, alluded to sexual fluidity in his lyrics and music videos; “Medicine” and “Lights Up” have been heralded by fans as bisexual anthems.

Check out the SNL clip below.

Celebrity interviewer. Foodie and Broadway buff in Manhattan. Hates writing bios.