I know ... it's a Spencer-Heidi double-hitter. Too early for this kind of pain? These The Hills stars are serious about the music biz, though: Spencer compared Heidi's music to Madonna's, so listen to "No More" via People and - um - see if he's right.

I'm not sure if singing credits go to the Vocoder or to Heidi herself, but I mean, with brilliant lyrics like these...

'I bet you want me back / But when I cry myself to sleep, where are you at?'

Now for your second dose, those geniuses over at Radar gave Spencer his own advice column called Yo Spencer! - and the first edition is up. It's everything I could have hoped for! I had to pick just one segment, but here goes...

YO SPENCER! How do you deal with weak people and haters?

With weak people, you can only try to give them confidence and pump them up. To be honest, you don't need them around you. I try to put myself around really strong people.

Haters you should love. Hatred stems from jealousy at some point. If people aren't hating on you, they don't care, and if they don't care, that means you're not doing anything right. I love my haters. I don't hate them back at all. You can turn so many haters around once they meet you. I'm like, "Thanks, I get it, I'm an idiot," and they're like, "Woo! He's an idiot! He's so cool!" I flipped a couple haters at Benihana just last night.

Screw the weak! And it's so true Spencer; everyone is totally just jealous of you.