As a devoted fan of superhero films, I have to say: the DC cinematic universe is hot garbage. Who wants to fight? Come at me! I’ve got a wig with your name on it.
Sure, Wonder Woman was pretty good while the Nolan Batman films set an impossibly high bar, but I don’t think there’s been a truly watchable Superman movie since Superman II. That being said, Henry Cavill is the best Superman ever—physically. I mean, when you think Man of Steel…
So it was with a heavy heart and an even heavier crotch that I read of Warner Bros. shifting focus away from Kal-El to other properties in the DC canon, like The Flash, Wonder Woman 1984, Birds of Prey, and a standalone Supergirl movie. While I think that’s a great idea—superhero movies are noticeably lacking in diversity, as Kit Harington recently pointed out—but I’m gonna miss watching Superman movies alone in the dark of my room with the sound off. So in the spirit of shameless thirst, here’s to you, Mr. Cavill. Dawn of Justice was terrible.
First of all, Clark Kent is the ultimate bae, just all nerdy and secretly hot for no reason.
Here’s another angle because they’re all good and what else are you doing?
Meanwhile, you could serve a three-course meal in that cleft-chin.
Even without glasses, this face could launch a thousand ships.
The cut of this tank top is very Jersey guido, which…thank you.
Honestly, the next Superman better be able to pull off this level of hot even when it looks like he’s taking a monster dump.
Am I the only one who imagines that this is Superman grabbing their hair in a rough but gentle way as a prelude to some light BDSM?
I know this is CGI or whatever…
Even when the green screen is evident.
Um, pardon me while I look for a good yet reasonably priced plumber…
Justice League really missed a prime opportunity by digitally removing this glorious ’stache.
One of my favorite things out of the Henry Cavill Superman era is all the footage of him just up in the gym working on his fitness.
Speaking of which…
View this post on Instagram
Working on the Super Buns! Whiiiiiiich if you vote for me in the Teen Choice Awards (link in bio) and I end up winning then you may or may not see them in a tight blue outfit much sooner! But totally probably. As an aside, please ignore the fact that I'm also 6 months pregnant with a baby made up entirely of cookies and pizza. Some stiff competition in my Teen choice awards category and I wish those Gentlemen very good luck! So get online and vote with your hearts….but vote for me. PS @TheRock. Just following your lead big guy. I see your Hobbs Beef Piston Power Thrusts and I raise you a Super Booty Burner with Paws #KalPaws #Superman #TeenChoiceAwards #SuperBuns #SummerBelly
God bless the Super Buns.