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Hilarious Joan Rivers Stories You've Never Heard, Dished In New Book By Melissa Rivers

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Joan Rivers' legendary legacy will live on in a brand new book, a series of vignettes written by her daughter and longtime coworker, Melissa Rivers.

Related: Joan Rivers Left A Chunk Of Her $150 Million Estate To An AIDS Charity

You may think you've heard everything you need to know (maybe too much?) about Joan, but according to Washington Post reviewer Nora Krug, "The Book of Joan: Tales of Mirth, Mischief, and Manipulation" is chock-full of stories about quirky personality traits Joan never revealed in the public eye.

Among them, the fact that Joan hid stacks of money in empty Milk Dud boxes because "they're the same size as paper money…so in case someone rifled through her purse, they'd overlook it," and that her own grandson called her "Nana New Face," a nod to the countless times she changed her physical appearance.

[caption id="attachment_196262" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Melissa Rivers and son Cooper Endicott accept the Grammy for Best Spoken Word Album on behalf of Joan in February.[/caption]

The book will also include:

Joan’s dating tips ("Never pick up the check;" "Never carry condoms"), Mother’s Day gift dos and don’ts ("never, ever, ever . . . give your mother a vacuum") and the like.

Stories from Joan's childhood:

Her fourth-grade teacher at the Brooklyn Ethical Culture School noted in a report card that Joan (then Joan Molinsky) was "learning to be self-reliant and gain recognition through accomplishment rather than through complaining, adding, “She is fast overcoming her tendency toward bribery in order to win friends."

[caption id="attachment_196263" align="aligncenter" width="599"]The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson Joan's legendary 1965 appearance on The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson, the late night show from which she was later banned.[/caption]

And more than a few real-life routines that could have provided great stand-up material. Melissa writes:

"Right up until the end of her life my mother believed that, in a pinch, ketchup, Altoids, and Milk Duds were a three-course meal. That doesn’t mean we didn’t sit down to dinner together every night. We did. And my parents would start a meal by thanking God not only for the abundance of food but for the abundance of restaurants offering delivery within thirty minutes."

On the topic of how she felt about paying homage to her mother so soon after her death, Melissa wrote, "What would my mother have done? Sell, baby, sell!"

"The Book of Joan: Tales of Mirth, Mischief, and Manipulation" will be released May 5.

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