“Hit The Floor” Season Finale: Gideon’s Bible

Previously … on Hit The Floor

Creator James LaRosa and actor Brent Antonello told us to expect answers to two burning questions in this week’s Season Finale. First, who killed Olivia? Second, who’s the loud one, Zero or Jude? Oh wait … that’s the burning question I want answered. My guess is it’s the one who dribbles. And plays basketball.

We did get the answer to question one, and thankfully, the relationship between Zero and Jude looks poised to take fascinating new turns in Season Three.

We start off with Jude being questioned by Sully from Dr. Quinn. He wants to know where Jude was the night of the murder. Luckily, Jude has an airtight alibi …

Wait a minute. Jude has had plenty of time to think up an alibi … and that’s what he comes up with? “I was alone on the arena floor.” Sully from Dr. Quinn is all “um, are you sure that’s what you want to go with?”

Jude comes home to find Zero in his boxer shorts and a tight t-shirt, snuggled up on the couch eating cereal. And that, my friends, is perhaps the most perfect image in the history of TV. What kind of cereal do you think Zero is eating? After getting to know him, I think it’s either Cheerios (because they’re shaped like tiny Zeros), or Alpha Bits, (because he can try to spell out “ZERO IS MVP” … Although it might be hard finding a Z).

Anyway, Zero immediately starts complaining about endorsement deals, but Jude is in no mood, and tells him he’s “Still in PR jail. It’s going to take more that the possibility of a championship to push that boulder up the hill. It’s going to take more than a ring. If you want your life back, you’re gonna need MVP.” Just look in the cereal bowl, Jude!

Zero tells him “You’re tighter than my nipple-imprinted shirt. Did something else happen today?” Before Jude can answer, he gets a delivery at the door. It’s a wedding invitation … from Oscar and Lionel.

Jude and Zero arrive for the wedding, both looking hot, and we get an awkward and hilarious scene involving them and a bimbo usherette.

Zero: “Relax. You’re sweating through your suit.”
Jude: “Sorry. Last time I was here, I was being disowned.”
Zero: “Well now you’re here as Lionel’s special guest.”
Jude: “So special I haven’t even spoken to her yet.”
Bimbo Usherette: “Welcome! I’m a big fan.”
Zero: (in sleaze mode) “Well, I’m a big fan of yours, too.”
Bimbo Usherette: “Can I take your coat?”
Jude: “It’s a suit”
Bimbo Usherette: “Or … anything else?”
Jude: “He has crabs. Excuse me.”

Jude sees Lionel for the first time as he’s walking her down the aisle, and repeatedly tells her how messed up all of this is. Considering that Lionel is dressed like Maleficent, I think she knows that.

The Championship Game is underway, with Zero making a “layup,” putting the Devils ahead at the end of the first half. Sadly, Terrence won’t be there to celebrate, as he completely blows out his leg (with gross protruding bone), and when he’s carted away, it looks like The Devils are on their way to defeat. But Derek saves the day with a last second basket (and depriving Zero of the game-winning shot in the process), and The Devils win the championship!

Everyone celebrates with hugs and kisses from their loved ones (including Derek with Pam from Martin), but in a heartbreaking moment, Zero and Jude can only stare wistfully at each other from across the room.

The celebration is short-lived when Sully from Dr. Quinn arrives at the arena, ready to arrest Olivia’s killer!

It’s Oscar!

After the dust clears, and everyone else has left the arena, Jude looks for Zero, and finds him in the locker room. We then get a conversation that proves why this show is already giving us one of the more complicated and interesting same-sex relationships we’ve seen on TV in a while.

Jude: “Congratulations. You’re number two”
Zero: “I didn’t come here to be some schmuck on the team. I came here to be the star. That’s what you promised me. Instead, I lost everything”
Jude: “You can’t blame me for that. You’re the one who got caught with your pants down. On more than one occasion.”
Zero: “Are you still angry about that girl I flirted with at the wedding?”
Jude: “What makes you think that?”
Zero: “I lied to everyone … but you. I told you I don’t do relationships.”
Jude: “No, you don’t do relationships with guys. But I do. You know how I know? Because I want one. With you. After the game, all I wanted to do was kiss you. But what would you have done? You would have freaked. Not because people would think you were gay or bi or … whatever you are, but because they would see an ounce of anything real from you. You’re so full of crap. One disguise after another. You’re buried so deep in there, you don’t even know yourself.”
Zero: “You just figured out you’re gay or whatever.”
Jude: “Not whatever.”
Zero: “And now you’re coming down on me?”
Jude: “You’re right. I’m sorry. But I’m mad. Mad at myself. mad at this situation. Mad that I need something from you. Mad that I can’t get it. Most of all, I’m mad that there’s nothing I can do about any of it.”
Zero: “Where are you going? You’re my agent.”
Jude: “I’m done settling for percentages. Percentages of my father. Percentages of you. I want it all, and I’m not going to stick around waiting for it.”

Jude starts to walk away, and that’s when get a tantalizing tease of hopefully what’s to come in the next season, as Zero finally lets the mask slip … just a bit.

Zero: “Gideon!”
Jude: “What?”
Gideon: “Gideon. That’s my name.”
Jude: (smiling) “I would love to take Gideon out on a date. To a public place. And listen to him tell me exactly who he is. If you want that, give me a call sometime.”

So that’s it! The one commandment of Gideon’s bible all this time has been “no relationships,” but can Jude change that?

Sadly, we have to wait for Season Three to find out.

Oh, and the baby-faced German actually killed Olivia!

What did you think?

80's Pop Culture Expert, Shooting At The Walls Of Heartache.