How Gay Was ‘Glee’?: Naked

Blaine and Sam

We know when you ask “What’s so gay about Glee?” the obvious answer is “everything.”  But we’re here to break down the queerest bits of Glee into bit-sized morsels for your enjoyment.  Think of us as your gay cheat sheet to Glee fandom.

This week Glee goes nude.  Or, well, at least topless. In New York Rachel is considering a topless student film role while the boys of McKinley were posing sans-shirt to raise money for their newly earned trip to Regionals. With this much bare skin on display it was like we were tripping over queerness left and right.

5. The Men of McKinley Calendar. If Fox doesn’t sell them to eager fans its a grand wasted opportunity. Think of how many hungry children they could feed if we could pay 19.99 to get our hands on actual copies.  Particular standouts were of course Mr. New Year, Blaine Anderson, and surprisingly Teen Jesus Joe in his bunny hat. We’re into it.

4. Rooster Os. You’d think that Kurt would be excited to have a totally naked college boy in his kitchen, but when it’s Brody’s bare ass on his thrift store finds he’s not as excited. The show did give us a great visual gag of a box of Rooster Os blocking Brody’s junk and Rachel entering the room and reaching straight for a banana. Oh Glee.

3. Tina Ships Blam! She thinks she has a crush on Blaine and his ample bottom, but we’re pretty sure based on her desire to get Sam and Blaine shirtless together during the Men of McKinely calendar shoot we’re pretty sure she’s a slasher at heart.  Go talk to Lauren Zizes girl, she will point you on your way.  Also her shipping them instead of crushing on Blaine so aggressively makes us feel better, so we’re choosing to believe it.

2. Group Spray Tans.  The Men of McKinley get them together while singing a mashup of Nelly’s “Hot in Herre” and “Centerfold,” but all we kept thinking was, “is group spray tanning a sex kink?” Don’t Google that.

1. Blaine’s Heart Eyes. Blaine might have Chronic Heart Eye Condition, or Darren Criss has it worked into his contract taht he can’t go more than three episodes without a doe-eyed expression at SOMEONE in the cast.  Without Kurt around to be on the receiving end they are on full force in Sam’s direction.  Yes, they’re technically friendship heart eyes, but there’s a little bit of last week’s hopeless crush under there too.  However, we’re happy Blam is chugging along as a friendship only.

Previously: How Gay Was ‘Glee’?: Sadie Hawkins