How Gay Was “Glee”?: Swan Song

Rachel and Cassandra are the definition of sexual tension.

We know when you ask “What’s so gay about Glee?” the obvious answer is “everything.”  But we’re here to break down the queerest bits of Glee into bit-sized morsels for your enjoyment.  Think of us as your gay cheat sheet to Glee fandom.

Swan Song picks up where last week left of, with Marley fainting and everyone fleeing the stage and losing sectionals.  Now they have to move on as a defeated club, while the New York kids battle for attention. This week we’ve got boys in cheer uniforms, cheeky bathhouse jokes, some steamy Rachel/Cassandra and, of course, Kurt Hummel being flawless.

1. Bathhouse Performer Blaine. We know it was a Sue fantasy sequence but we laughed out-loud at her imaged Blaine-future minus the glee club.  Ouch but LOL.

2. Cheerio!Blaine. That’s right, in the wake the club loss, Blaine picks up a new way to performan that puts him in the adorable male Cheerio garb and gets us a gratuitous shot of him doing the hula hoop (although we had higher hopes for your hip rotations, Anderson.)

3. Cassandra and Rachel do Chicago.  A perform-off to “All That Jazz,” and while Cassandra wipes the floor with Rachel, they do get to dance together for a bit in a very seductive way. Why isn’t the plot that they’re sleeping together but also rivals?  Huge missed opportunity, Glee.

4. “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” After Kiki last week we didn’t think Glee could pick any gayer music, but throwing a reference to Kurt singing Wham! was pretty great. Our only complaint is we didn’t get to see it!  Sure, it wouldn’t have gotten him into NYADA, but we’re simple folks and we like to be entertained. Not even a quick flash, Glee gods?

5. “Being Alive.” The moment of Kurt’s we do get to see, “Being Alive” is definitely worth it, though. He’s triumphant on stage and wholey deserves his hard-fought NYADA acceptance.  We just hope this means that he won’t give up his budding fashionista career with Sarah Jessica Parker completely!  People need layer, Hummel!  And backup plans!

Previously: How Gay Was “Glee”?: Let’s Have A Kiki