We open on the dulcet tones of barfing. Lovely.
It’s Annalise, who cheers herself up by going downstairs to do one of her favorite things — terrorizing the interns.
But surprise! It’s not the interns we’re used to but a bunch of 40-year-old randoms trying to pass for 20. Looks like we’re in a flashback!
Back to the long ago of 10 years past, way back before hoverboards were invented. Bonnie was a student then, and Frank was Annalise’s “secretary”, and let’s just say the entire wig budget must go to Viola Davis because whatever crawled up on Bonnie’s head and died is just … wow.
Anyway, Frank was still a horndog into groping students back then, and Bonnie was already smart and troubled and Annalise’s favorite, and they had time for nice girl chats where nobody even wished the other was dead. Good times.
Annalise, on the other hand, is about as interested in this whole baby thing as I am with anything having to do with professional sports that don’t involve men in shorts. Which is to say, not a whole lot.
So a very pregnant Annalise is completely focused on work and some big case that’s looming and will help get her tenure. Then she flies to Cleveland to have a coffee date with Rose, aka Wes’s mother, and give her a mysterious folder filled with mysterious press clippings about a hedge fund heir on trial for murder. Oy, another mysterious murder, just what this show needs.
Back in the present, Asher is still crashing at Conniver’s, working very hard at being the worst houseguest ever.
Oliver: “Good morning.”
Asher: [LOUD FART] [MANIACAL LAUGHING]
Later on, they have Michaela over for dinner, and Oliver tries to get rid of the douchey fart generator by convincing Michaela to commence boning him, all, “Hey remember how hot he was in that rap video,” and she’s all, “Eh, not gay enough for me.”
Meanwhile, Wes goes to the law school infirmary and says, “Give me all your sleeping pills or I’ll shoot myself,” and promptly gets himself committed for mandatory psychiatric observation. I’m hoping it’s going to be one of those American Horror Story Cuckoo’s Nest style asylum’s, which are always fun, but sadly it’s rather bland.
Honestly, though, Annalise doesn’t have much enthusiasm for anything in this episode, other than eating ice cream and taking naps, so in other words, she’s basically turned into me.
Michaela is convinced Annalise hates all of them, which begs the question — if Annalise did hate you, how would you even know? It’s not like she’s typically hugs and friendship bracelets and secret Santas with people she knows.
Anyway, Murder Brother shows up and asks Annalise to help track down Murder Cousin’s whereabouts, and Annalise is all, “Um, pass … and try not to call anyone a whore on the way out.” But he runs into Michaela on the way out, and calls her a whore, and she’s all, “I know you are, but what am I?”
Meanwhile, there’s a case of the week. A total no-brainer, though, because Annalise’s client has already plead guilty to the sort of accidental shooting of a guy who was hitting on his girlfriend. All Annalise needs to do is get him through the sentencing hearing. But then the victim’s mother goes and ruins everything by demanding a touchy-feely experimental legal proceeding where she gets to confront her son’s murderer directly.
The judge bizarrely agrees to this, and everyone thinks the mother is just going to use it as an effort to get the guy an even longer sentence. But to everyone’s surprise, she’s genuinely interested in forgiving him. The talk of forgiving seems to resonate with Annalise in particular, given she’s struggling over forgiving Wes for shooting her in the gut.
Everyone is very moved, including the defendant who gets so emotional that he decides to announce he’s an even worse cold-blooded killer than he first let on but is very sorry about it. This is enough to get the prosecution calling for a full-on trial and the death penalty.
Back at her house, Annalise wants to strategize ways to get the guy a lighter sentence. But the kids get all up in arms over this and decide to have a collective hissy fit, all “but he’s a bad man.” Annalise reminds them that they’ve all done bad things but like to think they’re good people.
That’s when Laurel decides to announce that Annalise is in fact the worst because she’s letting Wes rot away in the loony bin. This shocks them all, given that up until then they’d all thought Wes had simply been calling in mopey all this time.
When Laurel meets up with Frank, though, he is royally pissed at her for lying about Wes’s whereabouts. She counters that he lies all the time about the shady stuff he does for Annalise, and she suddenly gets all weepy and threatens to walk out on him. So he goes, “Wait! I killed Lila!”
Meanwhile, Annalise goes to Wes and leaves him the mysterious file that we had seen her give his mother in that earlier flashback.
She goes home to find that Nate left her a bottle of wine and bag of comfort food. Awwwwww. As she’s enjoying it, her phone rings. It’s Connor and guess what? Someone sent him a video of their actions on Murder Night. Which can only mean one thing …
Murder Cousin is back!