Bon Appétit! How to Make Your Ass Taste Delicious

Scrubs? Extracts? A simple shower? These gay men share their tips.

“I used to put Jujubes in my butt and let them melt, but [my partner] is diabetic so I don’t do that anymore.”

This was one of the many responses I received when asking my friends how they prepare for a deep and rigorous rimming session. They’re a rowdy bunch, so whenever I’m curious about anything explicit—from fissures to fisting—I can always count on them for candid commentary.

This latest query was inspired by the unexpected arrival of Studioready’s Hot Coffee Scrub to my apartment. As a queer sex writer, I’ve adjusted to receiving miscellaneous playthings from PR companies, but this item was unlike anything I’d seen before. Crafted from cane sugars and natural oils, the Hot Coffee Scrub supposedly makes your hole taste like dessert.

Initially, its arrival made me insecure because I’d never done anything to make my ass more palatable other than a good ol’ scrub in the shower. For a more comprehensive viewpoint (in case shoving Jujubes up your ass isn’t a little extreme for you), I brought this query online, asking Gay Twitter how they cater to their asses prior to analingous.

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Immediately, a trend emerged: Gays love Lush. “Pretty much any shower gel from Lush is a go for me,” Eric, 25, says, electing Honey, I Washed the Kids and Rose Jam as his go-to products.

For Erich, 27, a discerning rimming enthusiast, the product depends on his mood. “For a masc flavor, I recommend a little Cynthia Sylvia Stout mixed with Plum Rain,” he says. “If I want to taste like a fem bottom, I use Snow Fairy.”

When selecting a soap for your hole, opt for glycerin, avoiding lye, isopropyl alcohol, and sodium chloride, which can cause dryness and increase the probability of fissures. And after you’re done scrubbing, thoroughly wash your hole, as most soaps aren’t edible or palatable. Since hair has a tendency to trap all sorts of things, you may want to groom the area prior to any intercourse, as well.

Of all the responses I received, Dr. Bronner’s Organic Peppermint Oil Liquid Soap received the most praise with testimony claiming that, in addition to its refreshing flavor, “it’ll make your booty hole nice and cold.” Porn star Wesley Woods shared with me a similar-tasting industry secret: He dips baby wipes in alcohol-free mouthwash and pats it on his hole, insisting there is no pain, rather a delightful tingle.

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Mike, 34, creates his own formula, mixing the tiniest amount of cherry-flavored oil with coconut oil. But this is only for special occasions. Honey and vanilla extract were more natural options offered by Twitter users. Others said chapstick also does the trick.

Baby wipes were another popular item and—bonus—they’re portable. While intended for vaginal-use post-sex, WOO Freshies are a wonderful pre-rimming solution, as well. They come individually packaged and, as a regular user, I can attest they make your hole taste like a piña colada.

If you don’t mind the texture, sex and relationship expert Ashley Manta recommends a dab of Sliquid lubricants. “They have a whole line of sugar-free flavored lube that actually tastes good.” Wicked lubricants is another solid option, with particularly delicious flavors like candy apple, salted caramel, vanilla bean, and mocha java.

Another line of products that received praise online was TastyHole. With flavors like Cherry Gobler, Glazed Donut Hole, Peach Ring, and Hot Vanilla Latte, the product line came to TastyHole’s creator Chris Wright-Garcia when he was working at a Chilis and found a box of “rimming sugar” for margaritas.

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Taking these words literally, Wright-Garcia, who ran a skincare manufacturing company in the past, brought the idea of rimming sugar for assholes to his business partner, who immediately sent him funds to get started.

“I make each jar myself and even taught myself graphic design to create the logo and labels,” he tells me. “It has been extremely exciting. We even got a call from Shark Tank a while back. Sadly, they passed on us since we aren’t necessarily family-friendly.”

Developing such a product required plenty of trial and error. “I started distilling my own flavored oils from fruits and other delicious treats, but that didn’t go over too well,” he admits. “I started researching and trying different combinations of flavored things until I finally developed a flavored oil blend that both tasted great and felt good on the skin. My husband really enjoyed the testing process.”

Any suggestions I came across in my research for this article I wanted to make sure were body-safe. For council, I spoke to Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, who recommends exfoliants for external-use only, as they rid the hole of any excrement and/or dead skin. “However, there are a few things to consider when shopping,” he warns, listing the packaging, its delivery mechanics, the size and roughness of the exfoliants, and the overall feeling.

Goldstein favors lotions for external use, as well, but recommends you do a patch test on your arm first to see how your body reacts to it. “You should find one that is more favorable from an ingredient perspective, as some remnants may be ingested orally,” he says. “If you’re asking me for my favorite lotion for the post-cleanse feast, it’s Hotel Costes’ body lotion.”

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Of all the suggestions recommended, Goldstein is wary of mouthwash as it can cause local irritation, along with the removal of good bacteria. “However, I do advocate gargling with the original Listerine mouthwash post-rimming, as studies have shown it can mitigate your risk of contracting oral STDs.”

In addition to the recommendations I received, a healthy portion of men said they love the natural taste of ass, and ask that you do nothing to prepare.

Ultimately, however, the state of your hole is more about you than them. That means, if taking precautionary measures makes you feel more comfortable, you now have many great options to choose from.

Now dig in!

Bobby Box is a freelance journalist and editor whose work on sex, relationships, culture, and sexuality has been published in the Daily Beast, Playboy, Them., Into, Women’s Health, Complex, PopSugar, among others.
@bobbyboxington