Some people, when dumped by their lover, fired from their job, or stricken with some hideously disfiguring skin condition, watch reruns of old sitcoms. Others tune into the “All Law and Order, all the time” network. Still others watch classic films from Hollywood’s Golden Age.

But me? My “comfort TV” has, for many years now, been that warm and welcoming respite from reality known as the Home and Garden Network (HGTV).

I’m not sure why AfterElton.com hasn’t covered the gay gay gay gay gay HGTV universe in depth, nor why it took a dyke – albeit an extremely fabulous dyke with a thing for shoes and interior design – to make what is apparently only the third mention ever of the gayest network on TV today, barring, of course, Nick at Night.

Of course there are gay decorators on HGTV, although as far as I can tell only one of them, Color Splash host David Bromstad, is really out. But that’s okay, because it’s not the decorators or hosts who make HGTV a beacon of social and cultural equality shining in the darkness of a nation trying very, very hard to keep us in a perpetual state of second class citizenship.

No, it’s the completely matter-of-fact way in which queers are included among the house hunters, home remodelers, landscape-challenged, and even – yes – terminally disorganized who populate its shows.

If a house in San Francisco needs its Curb Appeal lifted, the fact that its owners are two gay men is just part of the scenery. When House Hunters went to Sweden and helped a married couple find new digs, no one thought to comment that both spouses were women.

In its quietly subversive but always color-coordinated, impressively well-decorated way, HGTV has modeled the new multi-cultural America, where people of all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, faiths, and sexual orientations are equally deserving of helpful home decorating tips. And don’t think the religious right didn’t notice – way back in 2005, our friends at Media Matters reported that the army of the righteous was put on the alert for insidious pro-gay messages not only on HGTV, but Animal Planet, as well:

CALLER: I just wanted to make a comment that you really, really, really have to watch what you are watching on TV. I have come upon evidence of homosexuality and lesbian people on programs like HGTV and Animal Planet, where you really don't expect this to be an issue.

WILDMON: Right. You're very perceptive, [caller], because that does happen, even in the most innocent of places.

I love you, HGTV. Never change.

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