IMHO: The Millionaire Matchmaker (2.12): She loves the gays

The second season finale of The Millionaire Matchmaker featured Patti’s first gay client. Until now, I’ve avoided this show. However, the potential for a gay love connection had me curious enough to see if this show were anything like the bad impression left by the clips shown on The Soup.

Overall, I’m giving this one a sideways arrow. While Patti’s pretty annoying and is not someone I’d regularly watch, her gay client, Kevin, managed to be charming enough to make up for Patti. Don’t venture any further, however, if you want to avoid SPOILERS.

Kevin is a fortysomething workaholic who is dedicated to his branding company. I’m not sure what motivated him to seek Patti’s help but it doesn’t take long for him to look like he was regretting the decision. In their first meeting, she quickly starts asking impertinent questions. “Would you say you’re butchier than the men you’ve dated or would you say you’re more feminine?” followed by “I mean, are you usually on top when you have sex or on the bottom?” If it’s so important that her matches make a personal connection before getting sexual, why are the first questions she ask sexual? Does Patti think of her service as being the personalized version of or manhunt?

Patti’s client, Kevin

Patti’s other client this episode, Anthony, is a comedy hypnotist with a Vegas show and bad highlights. Patti quickly tries to get him to agree to a makeover (saying she wants to “youthenize” him) in a way that leaves me wondering if the 99% success rate Patti brags about is due to every other woman looking pretty good after meeting Patti.

After meeting her clients, Patti’s next step is to hold a “recruiting session” to fill out the guest list for a party where her clients will get to meet their potential dates. Overall, the party plays out like the first episode of those reality dating shows where the hopefuls crowd around the one bachelor or bachelorette, hoping to make a good enough first impression to make it through that first rose ceremony.

Kevin’s date, Randy

Since the guests of honor are a straight man and a gay man, the potential matches spend their “checking out” time trying to figure out the guys’ sexual orientation (several women guess that Anthony’s bad highlights out him as gay) and then speculating on if the guys would be a top or bottom. I’d be rolling my eyes at this bunch, but since we see Patti going around the party asking guys if they’re tops or bottoms and introduces her clients with a round of “guess the gay”, I guess that’s the kind of tone she sets for these parties.

Kevin ends up picking Randy, a Orange County native who impresses Kevin with his ability to put work aside for a weekend of travel. Kevin has Randy visit his Kentucky estate for their first date. Visiting a bourbon distillery, they bond over jokes about getting to the drinking part of the tour, but when they return to Kevin’s estate, Randy reveals he’s not out to his family or most of his friends. That revelation that turns out to be not such a big deal, however, since Randy’s not coming out seems to be more due to procrastination than anything else and Kevin is willing to see if he’ll be the guy who inspires Randy to come out. Patti should probably make a note about switching her “top or bottom” question for ones about being out, those probably have more relevance to the kind of long-term matchmaking she’s supposed to be doing.

Kevin and Randy share a kiss

Overall, Kevin and Randy make for a cute love connection with a mix of qualities and flaws that seem pretty complimentary. However, that success almost seems like an accident considering how Patti acts. Not only does she ask impertinent questions, when she talks about gay men it’s as if we all live up to her stereotypical image. Worse, she keeps crying out “I love the gays!” and “Vive le gays!” as if that makes up for thinking all gays have sex on the first date or can be a used as a benchmark for whininess. While I enjoyed Keven and Randy’s story once Patti stepped out of the picture, I think I’d rather watch a show about a Patti from Buffalo .

What did you think? Did Kevin and Randi’s story work for you? Was that due to or despite Patti’s presence? Is anyone a regular viewer of The Millionaire Matchmaker? If so, how does Kevin compare to Patti’s usual clients?

Lyle Masaki is a fan of obscure superheroes, video games, adorkable guys and that show you loved that got cancelled way too soon.