I’ve Had It (Officially) With: Twerking

I never thought I’d say this, but: I’ve had enough of the butts. It all started with this:

 

And now everybody’s doing it. (Though hardly anyone can with the same finesse as Lady and her posse of, well, ladies.)

A recent development has been Major Lazer’s booty anthem “Bubble Butt”  (below), which makes me question which butts are real and which ones are just CGI. I don’t know about you, but I prefer not to have an existential crisis with my music videos.


Then, we have a sight for (very) sore eyes, Julian Serrano, twerking while performing menial tasks around the house like cooking and cleaning. And showcasing his underwear collection, which just so happens to take up the entire existing color spectrum. This one’s okay. We can keep this one.

…But then the beautiful twerkaholic men of the world are unsafe from the inevitable on-the-spot twerk demands. Case in point: So You Think You Can Dance winner Nick Lazzarini being creepily asked to dance “like a cat” and “as if he were receiving.”  Oof.

It’s too late though. This infectious booty bump has spread to young starlets and has even made Jay Leno jump back a little from the impact of the yellow glitter bomb that is Vanessa Hudgens’ perfect behind. Kaboom, indeed. (Seriously, does no one understand that this is the single most sexual movement you could do outside of actually having sex? YOU CAN’T JUST WHIP THAT OUT ON JAY LENO.)

Weirdly enough, this phenomenon has spread to all the former Disney sweethearts, as Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez have both been seen twerking in an unofficial duel. Let the wild rumpus begin!

Additionally, Miley is recruiting fans to twerk in her new video. In case you want to spite me and join the parade, here’s a tutorial:

Just know not everyone think she’s doing it right:

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