5 Girls John Mayer Should Dump Next

Happier times. Photo Credit: Getty Images

Happier times. Photo Credit: Getty Images

We were shocked SHOCKED to find out that John Mayer and Katy Perry are no longer together…again. We’re sure this has upset Mayer, likely making him want to scream at the top of his lungs. We’d like to cheer him up, so here are five female stars we hope he takes a shine to, before he of course dumps them and crushes their souls like he did with Katy and taylor Swift and Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Love Hewitt and, well, you get the idea.

Tyler Perry (as Madea)
John Mayer discovers that he wants a Perry, but just not a Katy Perry. Tyler Perry will go the full Daniel Day-Lewis route and commit entirely to the role of Madea. We’re not saying this relationship would last, but it would make some great tabloid photos.

Amy Poehler
She’s freshly divorced from Will Arnett, she’s funny, charming and beautiful. Who WOULDN’T want to date Amy Poehler?

Mia Wasikowska
Wasikowska reveals that she only accepted the role of Alice in Disney’s Alice In Wonderland because she’s such a huge fan of Mayer’s “Your Body Is A Wonderland.” After that, it’s down the rabbit hole for both of them.

Kelly Clarkson
John Mayer has gotten into collaboration, working with artists from Kanye West to Eric Clapton. We’d love to see a union of Clarkson and Mayer. They could literally make beautiful music together. And can we hope for that From Justin To Kelly sequel we’ve been waiting for?

Katy Perry
Think about it. The first time Katy Perry and John Mayer broke up, they just weren’t happy until they were back together again. We think that the third time might be the charm. Or if not, they can just keep breaking up and getting back together forever.

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