John Travolta’s Gay Getaway: Mykonos

Look closely and you can see the massage parlor.

John Travolta seems to have silenced the many masseurs who claimed they were sexually assaulted by the actor, so what is a straight Scientologist to do to celebrate — head to the gay capital of the Mediterranean! Travolta and wife Kelly Preston are enjoying some time together in Mykonos, famous for their nightlife and nude beaches.

We have never been to Mykonos, so we asked one of our spanakopita-loving Greek lady friends about the tourist hot spot, and she said; “Mykonos is def the gayest island of them all. Everyone is really open and accepting of homosexuality. It’s also one of the most popular vacation spots in Greece (for heterosexuals, too!).” We are obviously choosing to ignore the second part of that statement for the sake of this post.

Our other Greek lady friend, who was totally eating baklava when she emailed us back, said; “Well, let me tell you. When I went for the first time in 2004 and I was with my then boyfriend, he got hit on the entire time and got invites to the hottest clubs. One time I left our beach bed to get a drink and I came back with 10 men swarming the area — I was lucky if I even got a second look. And I’m pretty hot.” So conceited.

Finally, we spoke with the most Greek person we know, but she was very PC about the whole thing, saying; “Well, it’s a place to party, drink, eat, and be with friends. People from all over the world meet and mingle and enjoy life.” Ummm, what is she, a travel agent? Boring answer.

So it appears that John and Kelly are simply at a popular tourist destination that happens to be more gay friendly than most. Either way, Mykonos masseurs beware.

John Travolta & The Non-Masturbating Masseur