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Joseph Gordon-Levitt Has A Secret Girlfriend, And We Hate Her

[caption id="attachment_33506" align="aligncenter" width="0"]Field of dreams Field of dreams[/caption]

America's Sweetheart, Mr. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Sorry, Sandy!), hung out with Edie Brickell look-alike Howard Stern this morning to discuss his new movie Don Jon, as well as, and we're just guessing here, things like bodily fluid and gas and what to do if you run into French Stewart in a social setting, and the little rapscallion revealed he has a girlfriend! A secret girlfriend!

What's worse, it is not us.

Now secrets, as we all know, are boring, so let's use the amazing clues JGL gave us to figure out who this bitch is, and go TP her house.

Okay, ready? We learned this morning that Joey's jezebel girl is not in show business, they met through "mutual friends," and this little lady hates the spotlight. And that's about it.

OMG, it's totally James Franco's ex Kimiko, isn't it?

h/t: LA Times

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