Mariah Yeater, why have you forsaken us in our time of need? Just when we thought we couldn’t take it anymore – Justin Bieber frolicking around Rio with Selena Gomez, ruining “All I Want for Christmas is You” with Mariah Carey – you arose as a shining beacon of hope.
Now, a little part of us has died. Reports are claiming your paternity suit was dismissed late last week and your lawyers withdrew from the case. What happened? Did Justin pay you and your lawyers off? Or were the Belieber’s death threats too much to handle? Were you really just making this all up or did your lawyers abandon you in fear of the Biebs’ wrath?
Now we’ll never know if you were a gold-digging liar or an angel sent from above to shine light on the real Biebs. We’ll never know if Justin’s first time lasted 30 seconds on a shelf in a bathroom at the Staples Center. We deserve to know the truth. Think about the fans. Think about the late night comedians who have only scratched the surface of the “baby, baby, baby” jokes. Think about Selena Gomez.
Please find a way to remedy this. For us. We trusted you. We rooted for you. We beliebed in you.
Oh, and stop taking scandalous pics of yourself and posting them all over the Internet. You got a child, girl.
UPDATE: Thanks for listening Mariah!
Justin Bieber Alleged Baby Mama DISMISSES Paternity Lawsuit [TMZ]