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Kate Middleton Won't Bang Prince William

[caption id="attachment_56404" align="alignright" width="607" caption="Not getting it in. Allegedly. Photo Credit: Getty Images"][/caption]

Kate Middleton and Prince William may look like the perfect couple, but the truth is Kate won't have sex with him. Could it be that she hates him? Is she afraid of getting pregnant and ruining her figure? Maybe she has a Chloe Sevigny Hit & Miss situation going on? Or it could just be that today, friends, is Wacky Weekly Wednesday.

The members of the MacArthur Fellows Program over at Star spoke to anyone who would answer their phone sources close to the royal couple who claim it has been four months with no penetration in the royal bedroom. “More often than not [for Kate], it’s a case of off to bed for the night on her own while her husband is working,” says Pippa Middleton a super secret insider.

Also weighing in is Nicholas Davies, a grown man who wrote an unauthorized biography of Prince William. “My guess is that she doesn’t want to spoil that gorgeous figure,” says the man who has never and will never meet Kate.

Sadly, the magazine could not find anyone to say Kate was having an affair with Prince Harry to add some extra spice, of the ginger variety, to this report.

So next time you are feeling sexually starved or neglected, just think of poor, sexless Will and Kate.

Happy Wednesday!

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