How Kelly Osbourne Lives Her Life Like A Drag Queen

The former wild child talks "Drag Race," scandals, and her new memoir, "There Is No F*cking Secret."

“I’m so sick of people asking me what my secret is,” Kelly Osbourne says. Because if she had one, she’d most definitely tell you.

After all, her life has been an open book of rehab lows and red carpet highs ever since she first snatched our attention as Ozzy and Sharon’s bratty daughter on MTV’s The Osbournes. Now she’s taking her famous lack of a filter to another level in her new memoir, There Is No F*cking Secret: Letters From a Badass Bitch.

Kelly Osbourne
Darren Tieste

Osbourne, who’s shown off her bold sense of style on shows like Fashion Police and Project Runway: Junior, explains why brutal honesty is always a good look.

In your book you write, “I honestly feel like I identify with drag queens more than I do with anyone else.” Why is that?

They go out there and show the world who they really are, even though there will always be people saying rude, ignorant things. It has nothing to do with sexuality but everything to do with self-esteem and confidence. That bravery has empowered me throughout my life. Because I knew I was different, but I thought, well, if they can do it, so can I.

You’ve made guest appearances on RuPaul’s Drag Race and befriended many of the contestants over the years. With which queen do you most identify?

Oh, you can’t ask me to choose! You’re going to start a Game of Thrones war.

Each chapter in your book is addressed to a different person, place, or thing. I’m surprised there isn’t a chapter called “Dear LGBT Community.”

That was almost a chapter, actually, but I left it out. I talk about equality and sexuality throughout the book, but who am I to speak on behalf of the LGBT community? Because I’m not a gay woman—although Ross Mathews does tell me I’m more of a gay man than he is. Our drag names for each other are Sergeant Sissy and Major Cunt. I’m Major Cunt.

Kelly Osbourne and Ross Mathews
Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

You’ve worked with a lot of gay men besides Mathews, including George Kotsiopoulos on Fashion Police and Christian Siriano on Project Runway: Junior. Is there some sort of gay clause in your contract?

No lie, I have had that put in my contract before. Before Dancing With the Stars, I said, “If my partner’s not gay, I’m not doing it.” That’s how I got partnered with Louis Van Amstel.

When did your relationship with the LGBT community begin?

From birth, honestly. I have gay family, my parents have gay friends, and that’s the only environment where I’ve ever felt completely comfortable and accepted.

You made headlines back in 2011 when you said in an interview that you were “fed up with straight men” and wanted to have a baby with your gay best friend. Is that still on the table?

Fuck yeah. But I need a little bit more time with my young person’s vagina before I let it turn into a California raisin. [Laughs] No, I totally want a kid someday, but it’s a serious responsibility, not the hot new accessory. I’m just not ready to be that selfless yet.

Louis Van Amstel and Kelly Osbourne
DWTS/Mike Coppola/WireImage

You’ve worked with many LGBT organizations like Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors Fund, and you once shamed anti-gay protesters as a grand marshal of the L.A. Gay Pride parade. You even got a “Solidarity” head tattoo to honor victims of the Pulse shooting. Why are you so vocal in your support of the LGBT community?

Because no one has the right to tell you who you are, who you can be, or who you can love—I’ll never understand why that bothers some people so much. And they’ve supported me too. Hand on heart, I credit the LGBT community with being a huge reason why I’m still here. It just takes one person to believe in you, but I had a whole community of beautiful, artistic, free-spirited, fearless people telling me that I was good enough.

But your loyalty and good intentions have been questioned over the years. You were once labeled transphobic and had to apologize for offensive comments you made about Elle Schneider, a trans model who had slept with your fiancé at the time.

And after all that, you know, she and I became friends.

More recently, you were harshly criticized for a speech in which you urged the audience at a Trevor Project event to give Trump “a chance.” Was that disappointing?

It’s frustrating when journalists in the LGBT community sensationalize something for a headline and turn it into something it’s not. Because I think if you heard my whole speech, you’d understand what I meant. It seems like a step backwards to twist around something from someone you know only loves and supports you.

Kelly Osbourne
Phillip Faraone/Getty Images for The Trevor Project

How did you handle the backlash?

I cried for a couple weeks. I hated that some LGBT people were upset with me because of something that had been misinterpreted. I got death threats and people told me I should kill myself. But it just goes to show how sad, scared, and confused people are if they’re pointing fingers at the wrong people.

Your book doesn’t shy away from controversies, like your Fashion Police departure or that time you tweeted “eat my shit” at Lady Gaga. Was honesty of the utmost importance when you were writing it?

Yes, and that’s why I’m feeling so nervous and psychotically vulnerable, because I laid it all out on the table. As a young person in Hollywood, I wasn’t ready for fame. I fed into the media’s perception of who I was, but this book is my chance to tell you who I really am. But now, realizing just how honest I’ve been, I’m like, Oh, fuck.

Thanks to that honesty, I may know a little bit too much about your vagina.

That’s why that chapter comes with a warning, darling, so don’t blame me!

Kelly Osbourne

There Is No F*cking Secret: Letters From a Badass Bitch is available April 25.

Celebrity interviewer. Foodie and Broadway buff in Manhattan. Hates writing bios.
@BrandonVoss