Ah, from the mouths of babes.
On last night’s episode of Saturday Night Live, hosted by James Franco, the cold open put a festive holiday spin on our increasingly apocalyptic news cycle.
As a mall Santa, Kenan Thompson has to deal with children who seem less interested in receiving presents than in trying to make sense of which public figures—Al Franken, Donald Trump, kneeling football players—are on Santa’s naughty list this year.
“And what about Roy Moore?” asks one tyke. “Which list is he on?”
“It’s not really a list,” says Kate McKinnon as Santa’s helper Amy. “It’s more of a registry.”
“I want a Barbie,” says one particularly jaded girl. “Unless the feminazis are gonna take that from me, too.”
Hey, at least she doesn’t ask for a toy “like the one Matt Lauer gave to his coworker.”
So what are our future leaders learning by staying abreast of current events? “I learned that if you admit you did something wrong, you get in trouble,” says one wide-eyed child. “But if you deny it, they let you keep your job.” Oof.
“Where the hell they get these kids from?” Santa asks. “I never thought I’d say this, but I think our public schools are too good.”
Watch the sobering sketch below.