There's, uh, something I have to tell you guys...
Is there anything in the world that is better than the celebrity weeklies? Nope. No there is not. And this week, we get a heartwarming story from Star that explains the real reason Kris Humphries & Kim Kardashian broke up — he’s gay!
How doe we know Kris is gay? Let’s look at these sure to be completely accurate quotes.
- “Kim confided to Khloe [Kardashian] early on that they hadn’t had sex for weeks after they returned home from their Italian honeymoon.” –
Kris JennerInsider - Kim went into their room in just a trench coat and Kris barely looked up, saying: “Later babe. I’m watching SportsCenter now.” –
Kris JennerInsider - Khloe finally asked Kim if she thought Kris might be gay. “At first Kim thought that was ridiculous. But the more she thought about it, the more she wondered. There were signs.” –
Kris JennerInsider - “Everyone thought the fact that [Kris] loves shopping and beautifying as much as Kim would bond them. But now they can’t help but wonder if maybe there was something else going on — that maybe Kris is hiding the real reason their marriage didn’t work.” –
Kris Jenner’s AssistantAnother Insider
So yeah, all that stuff makes him so GAY. The icing on the cake is that Star then says that another incident was when Kris called Jonathan Cheban, Kim’s publicist, gay. That is insane. Not because calling someone gay probably makes you gay, but because Jonathan Star‘s source, is so, so straight. Jonathan Cheban is such a man’s man and not a tiny twink at all.
Oh, and Jonathan is going to sue Kris for the gay comments he made the magazine claims.
I mean, hypothetically, if we were going to feed a bogus story to a weekly we would likely make sure our name wasn’t splashed across that story in a super positive light. You know, with asides about how we are handling this situation that we have nothing to do with, at all.
Hypothetically.
