Well, homosexuals, Lady Gaga has finally answered your prayers/online harassments/very vocal outbursts and is releasing what’s promising to be the first true bop of the decade, “Stupid Love.”
The maternal monster tweeted out the announcement today, and then the internet’s basement quickly flooded:
— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) February 25, 2020
You know things are serious when there’s an A.P.B. pop emergency.
— Pop Base (@PopBase) February 25, 2020
We haven’t had one of those since whatever the last thing Beyoncé did. So what do we know about this messianic comeback single? Let’s dive in, shall we?
January 21, 2020. A day that will live in gay infamy. That’s the day “Stupid Love” leaked and, subsequently, some unpaid intern lost their job and/or life. The leak was plugged up eventually, but the internet doesn’t play any games and the song had officially entered the zeitgeist.
The next move belonged to noted Oscar winner Stefani Germanotta herself.
can y’all stop pic.twitter.com/1jvZLdY6jV
— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) January 23, 2020
Turns out she actually wanted this to be a surprise and her little monsters ruined it.
But “Stupid Love” proved inescapable, even as Gaga performed the Saturday before the Super Bowl at her Vegas show Enigma.
The monsters want what the monsters want. And what’s a pop diva to do? One day you’re on top of the world, far from the shallow, and the next some feather-haired newcomer steals your song and the hearts of your fickle, fickle gay fans.
Still, with fellow queen Rihanna also taking her sweet time releasing new music, the gays are clamoring for something to dance, work out, and catwalk to.
Well, the latest update? This Friday, “Stupid Love” finally arrives, heralding Gaga’s LG6 era, named so for her sixth studio album.
Looks like we’re in for some vintage Gaga outré aesthetics—pink hair in a high pony, statement sunglasses, this She-Ra meets Jem and the Holograms via Versace Boulevard moment that I’m not mad at:
For mom’s sake, let’s just hope the album doesn’t leak, or we might never get a new bop ever again.