This letter is part of our inaugural editorial series, “Letter to Myself,” in which we asked 40 remarkable queer people to write a note to their younger selves.
Hey Drew. You’re a mess. If you were in front of me right now, you would tell me I was crazy. You would confidently inform me that you have it all together: you’re class valedictorian, the editor of the school paper, vice president of the National Honor Society, and on the tennis team, which you give zero shits about, but Oh my god, does it look great on your resume.
You’re doing lots of theater right now, which you’ll tell me is just a hobby and there’s no way you would “make it” anyway, so this will never be a career for you. Your subscriptions to New York magazine, Entertainment Weekly, and Details are also just frivolous distractions from the serious, important work you know you must do. The thought of having a girlfriend just seems exhausting, so you’ve shut down all thoughts of sex. You’re making your friends in North Carolina watch John Waters movies, and you have a bowl cut.
I see you. And your family and friends see you. You don’t see you yet, but that’s okay. Keep looking for it. Give yourself a break. You’re not going to change, but you’re going to discover. Your mistakes/flaws/weirdness are the most interesting things about you.
You’re a mess. But that’s a beautiful thing.
Drew Droege will star in Julie Brown’s Homecoming Queen’s Got a Gun opening October 13.
Read more letters here.