This letter is part of our inaugural editorial series, “Letter to Myself,” in which we asked 40 remarkable queer people to write a note to their younger selves.
Hey Little One,
I know you are having trouble. And I want you to know that at some point you’re going to understand what it is all about. It’s gonna take a while, longer than you want, longer than I want, too. But once you do the time isn’t gonna matter so much anymore.
I want you to know that those things you are feeling inside are real. And they don’t feel like they make sense because the world around you just hasn’t grown up enough to understand them. But the beautiful thing is that you know and you can accept things the world isn’t ready to yet, and you can find other people who have accepted that similar things are going on for them, and as you do that you can help the rest of the world grow up a little and become a place where you and other people like you can be yourselves and apply your very special gifts.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of the way you feel like a girl inside, the way you walk like a girl, the way that sometimes people even see you as a girl and how happy that makes you. Little one, that’s something to be very proud of. It makes you very special and it means you can see things in ways that other people can’t yet. It means that you can show people, just by being yourself, that the world is much bigger and more interesting and beautiful and complex than they could have imagined. It means you can help people imagine a new world where there are possibilities beyond what anyone ever thought of before.
You’re a magic little child and I love you so much. I want to care for you and carry you with me and you know what? I need your help, too. I need you to show me my truth as I find my way through this world, in which sadly we are so often told to be anything, but who we are. So, let’s stay connected, okay?
I want you to know that your journey is going to be an incredible one. There will be some really hard things that happen, but have faith that you will find your way. I can tell you that you will. Everyone is doing their best. But most of the people around you just don’t have the tools to understand what you’re going through or to help you through it because they are scared themselves. So find people who you share this with. Find other girls like you and listen to their stories. They will help you understand your own. Let their experiences and their voices awaken your beautiful spirit so it can shine.
I love you, little one. Be as strong as you are. Inside you know the truth.
Gavin Rayna Russom plays synths and percussion for LCD Soundsystem.
Read more letters here.