This letter is part of our inaugural editorial series, “Letter to Myself,” in which we asked 40 remarkable queer people to write a note to their younger selves.
hey kid . boy oh boy . first of all , please know that you are loved . even though you don’t really feel it all the time . know that you’re OK . that you’re not wrong . not a mistake and not unnatural . you’re gonna hear those words a lot . ” unnatural ” and ” sin ” . don’t take them to heart . please please please don’t let PEOPLE be the voice of GOD .
please please please know that you will be surrounded by flawed and confused and sometimes evil people . people that will tell you you have to change . people that will do some unforgivable things . try to give them grace . but please please please don’t let their actions and voices into your heart . you’re gonna make it out of your own head . i promise you . you’re gonna find yourself and you’re gonna find people that love and support and accept and celebrate you for all of the things that make you YOU .
one of the most important things i need to tell you is that now is not forever . i know you feel trapped . like there is no future . no possibility of one . no possibility to even make it out of the closet . hold on . hold onto yourself and please please please trust yourself . you’re gonna get out . but also please remember these parts . remember these feelings . so so so many people feel these and go through this . so so so many people have it worse . remember these moments so that you can share your story . remember these moments so you can appreciate every moment along the way .
coming out is a lifelong thing . at least i think it is ! here i am writing to you . . . i came out 4-5 years ago and in some ways i keep coming out . i keep trying to find myself more and more . and to express myself more and more . lean into support . look for it . ask for help . you’re gonna look for ways out . you’re gonna try to mute all of the bad feelings , but in doing so , you might end up silencing all of the good . watch out for that .
i know you think you’re gonna be alone . you’re not . love is gonna find you in a diner . and he’s gonna break your heart . and you’re gonna think it’s gonna kill you . and you’re gonna get through it . and you’re gonna find it again . bigger and better . as you learn to trust yourself and speak up for yourself . i know you see all these things that say ” it gets better ” . i know you don’t believe that . but i can promise you it does . and it will . maybe not in the ways you imagine , but let life surprise you . let people surprise you . and let yourself surprise you .
you won’t be stuck in this forever . you won’t feel silenced forever . in fact , the more you speak up and express yourself , the more comfortable you’re gonna become . and the more support you’re gonna get . trust people that deserve to be trusted . let your best friends show you things about yourself that you might not let yourself see . the good parts . i just hope you know you are so loved . i wish you felt some of the things i feel now . but you will . i know that you will . and it’s not all sunshine and rainbows now , either . but it’s better . it’s so much better .
i still have a hard time saying this but i love you ,
Wrabel is on tour throughout the United States and Canada this month.
Read more letters here.