Drag Legend Shades Younger Queens With Priceless “Drag Race” Audition Tape

"I’m trying so hard! I just want to win!"

Drag veteran Linda Simpson clearly has some strong opinions about the current crop of contestants on RuPaul’s Drag Race.

A fixture of New York’s queer club scene since the late ’80s, the witty performer and nightlife personality just about says it all with a brief video she calls her Drag Race audition tape.

“My mommy! My daddy!” she whines in the new clip, catching her breath between sobs. “I’m trying so hard! I just want to win! I’m a drag queen!” Ouch.

Linda is presumably poking fun at the many emotional breakdowns seen in the most recent Drag Race episode. Tears were shed by queens like Aquaria, who sparred with The Vixen, and Dusty Ray Bottoms, who shared a story about how his parents sent him to gay conversion therapy as a child.

The shady video comes on the heels of rumors circulating online that there could be a RuPaul’s Drag Race: Legends season next year to celebrate old-school queens like Coco Peru, Jackie Beat, and Lypsinka. Has Linda just secured her spot?

Linda, drag creation of Les Simpson, elaborated on her faux Drag Race audition in the video’s Facebook comments. Her inevitable catchphrase? “Got my Crackerjack prize!” Her potential “Snatch Game” characters? “Agatha Christie, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Barbara Bush.”

A drag documentarian and peerless bingo hostess, Linda previously dragged Drag Race in her stand-up comedy act. “I actually auditioned to be on the show,” she recently told the crowd at Club Cumming, “but the producers said, ‘Sorry, one old queen who can’t sing is enough.’”

Last year we named Linda one of 10 fab people to follow on Facebook.

Watch her tongue-in-cheek Drag Race audition below.

My audition tape for “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” #dragraceauditions

A post shared by Linda Simpson (@lindasimpson) on

RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 10 airs Thursdays at 8/7c on VH1.

Celebrity interviewer. Foodie and Broadway buff in Manhattan. Hates writing bios.