Liveblogging “Days Of Our Lives:” Afterbirth

Will struggles to survive, as Sonny keeps a bedside vigil. Join us for the drama at 1 PM ET.

And we begin with Sonny at Will’s bedside. He tells him, “That boring doctor says you’ll be be getting out soon. And I have amazing news. You’re a dad. Arianna Grace was born tonight, and she is the most beautiful baby girl I’ve ever seen. And I think she looks just like you. And she needs her dad. She needs you to be there for her. Don’t keep her waiting long, okay? Oh, and I saw Gabi’s ladyparts. What were you thinking?”

Sami and Lucas look on, and Allison Sweeney is acting the hell out of this moment.

Daniel tells Jennifer, JJ, and Abigail that Will is going to be okay, and they all jump for joy, except JJ, who’s too busy staring daggers of hate at Daniel while pursing his lips so hard they almost implode. Start plotting, boy, what are you waiting for?

Kristin offers to postpone the wedding because of Will, but Brady says “No, he’s going to be okay.” I love that the entire town is reacting to the Will news.

Abigail asks if Will can get visitors, and Daniel says he’s sure Will would love to see his favorite cousins. JJ says, “Thank you for everything, Daniel,” in a hilariously passive-aggressive way that now causes Daniel’s lips to close inwards. Seriously, JJ may as well have said, “bless your heart.”

Back to Sonny. As Sami and Lucas still look on, Sonny tells Will, “Do you remember the day we met? I don’t know if you noticed me, but I sure noticed you. You gave me the biggest hard-on I’ve ever had. I had to stand there and watch you struggle with who you were. I had to let you figure it our on your own. I knew there was nothing I could do but be there for you, like I am now. The first time you told me you loved me, that was the best day of my life, so far. I’m saying so far because I know the best days are still ahead of us.”

I think Freddie might have flubbed a line, but he covered, adorably.

Sonny tells Will he loves him, and kisses him, when Sami finally clears her throat announcing their presence.

Sami and Lucas thank Sonny profusely for everything he’s done. Sonny starts talking about Arianna, and his face lights up. He exscuses himself to visit the baby, while Sami and Lucas stay with Will. Lucas tells Will, “You’re a better man than I’ll ever be, and I couldn’t be more proud of you.”

I’m loving Children of The Corn Vs. Village of The Damned … I mean aren’t Johnny and Ciara adorable?

Sami tells Will “Sonny’s panic-stricken, terrified face was the first thing Arianna saw when she entered this world. Now she just needs to see yours.” Yeah, I don’t think Will’s coma face is something the baby needs to see right now.

Hey, Sonny, you’ve visited Will and the baby …before you go sit with Will again, maybe you should … freshen up a bit … you know, splash some water on your face, maybe … change your shirt. We’ll wait for you.

And Ciara just threw Johnny under the bus.

Sonny tells Sami that Eric has arrived. Damn! I want a scene with Sonny and Eric … for my spank bank because I don’t remember them having a scene together.

JJ opens the door to funky drug music and meets his funky drug pal, and they go back inside to do funky drugs and “have fun.” Well, you know what they say about a straight guy and Six Bong Hits.

Lucas apologizes to Sonny for being an asshat, and Sami calls Will “My perfect little baby boy.”

That’s it! Thanks for joining me. I don’t think the guys are back tomorrow, but we’ll let you know. And the show isn’t on Monday, but we’ll be back next week for Will’s Awakening and of course, The Redemption Of Nick Fallon.

80's Pop Culture Expert, Shooting At The Walls Of Heartache.