Liveblogging “Days Of Our Lives” Closet Case

Did R. Kelly write these episodes?


Daniel interrupts Brady’s interview to announce “He’s high as a kite.” Brady denies it, and knocks the camera out of the cameraman’s hand. If he strings together some gay slurs, he could be Alec Baldwin.

A repeat of Gabi opening the closet door while announcing “the night I killed Nick.” Wills tumbles out. Gabi says ’What are you doig in the closet/” and Will responds, not unreasonably “You killed someone, and you’re asking me what I’m doing in the closet?” Sonny hilariously tries to explain by saying “No, no, you misunderstood. Gabi meant that Nick was out of her life. She was speaking metaphorically.” I Love Lamely-Trying-To-Cover Sonny!

Will says, “So was she metaphorically trying to burn her coat?” Wow, I’m actually shocked that Will didn’t buy Sonny’s excuse. The way Will has been acting lately, I expected to him to smile sweetly, and say “Now about my party …”

Will tells Gabi “I don’t know how to comprehend this. You killed a human being?” No, silly, she killed Nick. Sonny tells him it was self-defense, and they explain that it happened just before Thanksgiving, and everyone thinks that Nick is in New York, but he’s actually at the bottom of Salem River.

Or is he? Sami screams when the bloated corpse of Nick floats to the surface, but EJ makes her realize that it was … only a log. Oh Damn, and I so thought it was actually Nick. Sami starts blubbering, realizing that she actually killed a human being. Why do these people keep saying that?

Will wants to know how drowning Nick was self defense. Gabi explains “Well, he was almost dead when we pushed him in the water.” Okay, I officially love this episode. He asks Sonny if he was involved, and when he says no, “Will has a hilarious moment of realization and says “Please, please tell me that mom and Grandma Kate are not involved in this.” Gabi’s silence is her answer, and Will flops down on the couch and repeatedly slaps himself in the face, saying “Wake up!”

Gabi texts Sami and Kate, while Will sits back and says “My God, my daughter is being raised by The Sopranos.”

Sonny tells Will that he’s known about it since the day he was in the closet. Kate and sami are on the way over, and Sonny tells him when they get there, they’ll explain everything. Will says ’What’s to explain, it’s just a three-way self defense drowning.”

Will retires to his bedroom with Ari (hey! we get another bedroom scene … with Ari), while Kate and Sami arrive. Sami explains that EJ knows. Kate wants to know how Will found out, and Sonny tells him Will was hiding in the closet. Kate vows to tear that sucker down.

While Kate and Sami cackle at each other, Sonny decides to go an try to calm Will down before he comes out and faces the circus. But wait a minute … oh no, Will took Ari and went out the back. The back of what? Are they suggesting this apartment suddenly has a back entrance? Gee, you’d think Sonny could have used that to make his escape a few weeks ago.

Brady tells everyone that it’s just a little blow, and he can handle it. Nicole walks up and sadly reaches out her hand. This is so ABC Afterschool Special circa 1984, starring Moosie Drier and Kim Richards. Brady is crying!

Sonny says he’ll go find Will, ALONE. Kate and Sami start to bitch, but EJ convinces them it’s for the best.

Sonny texts Will “We need to talk. Just us. Please. You know I love you.”

Sonny finds Will (It wasn’t hard, since there are a finite number of sets). But can he get Will to listen?

That’s it! Thanks for joining me. We’ll be back to ring in the Salem New Year tomorrow!

80's Pop Culture Expert, Shooting At The Walls Of Heartache.