Liveblogging “Days of Our Lives”: Everyone’s Dead

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

We haven’t checked in on Days of Our Lives since October (when Will allegedly died), but only-gay-in-the-village Paul is supposed to have scenes today that don’t involve listening to his father kvetch about his past.

“Gabi and Paul get opportunities.” Hmm, could it be some modeling work?

Meanwhile, what’s happened since we left? Aidan is dead. Bo is dead. Midwife-in-the-wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time is dead. Daniel’s days are numbered. Eve’s days are numbered. Ben has gone full psycho and his days are numbered.

On the plus side, we welcome Aussie actor Alexander Bruszt, who plays Doctor Fynn Something. I approve this casting.

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Sadly, Father Hottie has just been given his walking papers, so he’ll be gone eventually, and it’s just been announced that Jack will be back for a five-episode arc (as a ghost?)

Caroline is still having premonitions. That’s So Caroline!

Will Paul give us a reason to come back? Let’s find out.

Kayla and Steve are locked in the storeroom. How many times are they going to do the “We’re locked in, let’s bang” thing on this show?

Dr. Fynn looks good in his hospital scrubs. I just noticed how much he looks like Xander. Is that intentional?

JJ and Gabi are still going to happen, apparently. They decide to have a drink together. Where is she living now? Did she officially move out of the Death Apartment?

It’s the first commercial and there’s no sign of Paul. That doesn’t bode well.

Finally, the name Paul comes up. Nicole comes in to the pub to talk to Kate about the deadline for the launch date they have coming up, and they need a new spokesperson. Nicole looks over and sees Paul sitting alone at the counter, and gestures towards him. “How about someone who’s already a star?”

Nicole asks “You’ve worked with him, right?” Kate explains that Justin hired him, but then goes into the “Will/Sonny/Paul” backstory, and says “I thought that was the worse that could happen to my grandson.”

Kate tell Nicole that their working relationship was a little rocky at first, but he’s a complete professional. Nicole asks is he thinks Paul would consider coming to work for them. Kate is intrigued.

Nicole and Kate approach Paul, and tell him about the offer, and that “It’s more than just modeling.” Paul asks “Aren’t most of your lines for women?” Kate looks over and sees Gabi flirting with JJ, and says “Yes, but I have an idea.” OOH! JJ IN DRAG! I AM SO THERE!

They must have known we’d be liveblogging. They brought back Anne! She’s all frosty toward Theresa and tells her “We’re not friends anymore!”

Kate approaches Gabi and asks her if she’d be interested in being the face of Basic Black, along with Paul. Gabi is ecstatic, and says yes, and Kate, Nicole, Gabi and Paul sit down to hash out the details. They’re all smiles, but have Gabi and Paul ever talked about the fact they both slept with Will? Or even talked to each other before?

Damn, I guess we’re not going to get to see Ben’s crazy face today.

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Theresa comes in to find Kate and Nicole asking Paul and Gabi about possible traveling to London or Milan or New York. Paul says he’s been around the world and can go anywhere, but Gabi has reservations. Why? Oh that’s right, she has a kid. Doesn’t she?

Theresa says she has a new outfit that will look great on Gabi, and she’ll design something for Paul. So Paul’s going to look like Pepe LePew?

JJ leaves in a huff, and when Gabi catches up with him, he tells her that he’s not ready to be some model’s arm candy.

Daniel just called Fynn a “playa.” An anvil on the head. A flesh-eating disease. One of those Star Trek earwigs that eats its way from inside the brain. Oh sorry, just trying to come up with the ways I want Daniel to die.

So … that’s it? Thanks for joining me! I don’t know when, but we will be checking in on Paul again.

80's Pop Culture Expert, Shooting At The Walls Of Heartache.
@therealsnicks