Will finally begins to suspect that people are ... hiding stuff from him.

Harder, Ari!

It's a Tad day! And he's looking good. And here comes Will ... and so does he. Is Tad rubbing off on Will? Aside from in fanfic.

Gabi is having a FLASHBACK NIGHTMARE. Wow, two for the price of one. She wakes up screaming, But luckily Sonny is there with his calming plaid. It soothes everything.

EJ is taking a hike down by the river, and he orders Sami to go with him. He's wearing ... jeans ... and an ... outdoorsey jacket, and he's carrying ... sport moccasins. And he's got scruff. If he grows an ugly, scraggly beard and starts talking about "sin," i'm done with this show.

Will is talking to Tad about the secret he thinks Gabi and Sonny are keeping from him. Tad tells him maybe the surprise party is back on, since it would really be a surprise now if they went ahead of it. Will tugs at his ear a few times. I swear, when he does that, I half expect him to break into "I'm so glad we had this time together ..."

Gabi yada yada "I don't think I can keep this secret much longer." And "Sometimes I think it would be easier if I just turned myself in." Well, if you're sure ...

Brady has thrown JJ under the crackmobile.

Sony tells Gabi "Why don't we get your mind off things. Let's get Ari and take a walk down by the riv .. I mean, get some fresh air."

In a hilarious moment, Nicole comes by the mansion to get her interview with Brady, who has just snorted a kilo of blow. He comes out glassy-eyed and manic, and I swear I can see some powder in his scruff.

Gabi and Sonny take Ari to Town Square, aka the most boring strip mall in the world, and as they reiterate yet again that they have this secret that they'll never ever tell, we see a strange POV shot from ... A STALKING CHRISTMAS TREE! Obviously Nick has magically been brought back to life in a different form, ala Michael Keaton in "Jack Frost."

Brady tells Nicole he's ready to be interviewed and "Let's Rock and Roll!" UGH. He better he high.

Gabi and Sonny have a sweet bonding moment where they let bygones be bygones, but the Stalking Christmas Tree looks ready to blow a bulb.

Brady gives a rambling, sleazy, and embarrassing speech on camera. Rob Ford would be proud.

The Stalking Christmas Tree has followed Gabi and Sonny home. Luckily, they didn't close the door ... because why would they?

OMG! Gabi and Sony come out of Ari's room and Gabi sees her phone, with a message from Sami. As she walks to the closet and opens the door, she tells Sonny "Sami says I have to burn my coat, because I was wearing it the night I killed Nick." Unfortunately, Will is standing in the closet. Seriously.

Sami walks to the edge of the river, and sees ... the bloated corpse of Nick rise to the surface!

That's it! Thanks for joining me. We'll be back next week for CHANDLER'S FINAL WEEK!