Liveblogging “Days Of Our Lives:” The Big Bang

Will risks his life to save Nick. Oh, Will. And will Sonny have to get very up close and personal with Gabi? Join us for the drama at 1 PM ET!

Will manages to hide just as Jensen walks in, He tells Nick “I’m not happy. You know what happens when I’m not happy. You can save yourself a lot of pain if you just tell me where she is.” Meanwhile, Will is in the corner where SWEAT STARTS WELLING.

Gabi tells Sonny the baby is coming, and Sonny is this close from letting out the Gay Gasp. Just cross your legs, Gabi. And that’s good advice FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Jensen tells Nick he’s already dead, and Gabi won’t get away, because “she’s as big as a barn door.” How rude!

Sonny is frantic, and tells Gabi, “But in the movies …” Oh Sonny, it’s never a good idea to start a conversation with ’In the movies …” He continues, “In the movies, when the water breaks, that doesn’t mean the baby is coming right away.” I Gabi tells him this is real life, and she’s been having mini-contractions all day. Sonny tells her that Will and Nick are right behind them, so they’ll go the to the dock and wait for the ferry.

Sonny and Gabi enter the grimy boathouse, and Gabi is aghast that this is where she has to give birth. They have a hilarious scene where Sonny tells her that he knows what to do because he saw a video in health class … of course, he closed his eyes during the ladyparts scene, but he thinks he has the jist. I Love Don’t-know-nothin-about-birthin-babies- Sonny! Gabi screams at him and goes through the about-to-give-birth cliche list, all except for “You did this to me!”

In a scene I knew was going to happen, Jensen starts teasing Nick about their time in prison, and how “close” they were. Nick starts welling up, and yells at him to shut up, as Will listens in.

I’m loving Gabi and Sonny together. Sonny tells her, “If someone had told me six months ago that I’d be here, about to help you give birth to Will’s baby ….” Gabi tells him. “You don’t have to act like you don’t hate me, because I would hate me too.” Finally, Gabi and the rest of the world are on the same page.

Nick tells Jensen, “Shut up! Just kill me if you want to, but just shut up!” Obviously, Nick doesn’t want Will hearing all this. Jensen comes rightout and says, “You were my bitch!” Meanwhile, Will has grabbed a giant wrench.

And now we’re going live to Oklahoma for Tornado coverage. Not sure how long it will last.
Well, that news conference told us nothing we didn’t already know. Back to the show.

Abigail just told JJ “It Gets Better.” WHAT THE HELL? What did I miss?

Sami and Kate are fighting about Rafe. Kate slaps her across the face and calls her “Bitch!” WHAT THE HELL? What did I miss?

Will is on the floor, shot by Jensen. Nick screams at him that Will was an innocent, and didn’t deserve this. All of a sudden, Hope barrels through the door and blows Jensen away. WHAT THE HELL? What did I miss?

Gabi gives birth, but the baby isn’t crying. Sonny looks horrified. Gabi screams “What’s wrong with my baby.” WHAT TH … whatever.

Dammit. That’s it! Thanks for joining me. We’ll be back tomorrow!

80's Pop Culture Expert, Shooting At The Walls Of Heartache.