Liveblogging “Days of Our Lives” The Case Of The Gay Doctor Plumber

The good news is we’ll be liveblogging all week! The bad news … it looks as though Will and Sonny will only be playing The Hardy Boys, as their suspicions about Gabi, Sami and Kate grow.

I’d much rather they turn their sleuthing skills toward more pressing matters. For instance, today, they should be investigating “The Case Of The Gay Doctor Plumber.” I was watching old episodes of Ellen yesterday and who should make an appearance but … Dr. Dan … playing a “gay plumber.” Okay, WilSon, I want answers! (And please show these pics to Jennifer so we can see her face melt).

Oh great, we get a reprise of the Salem Community Theater’s production of “Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf.”

Will tells Gabi that he knows what happened with Nick, and “it’s not your fault.” OMG, Will knows that Gabi kille …. oh wait, I’ll bet they’re toying with us, and Will doesn’t actually know, and Gabi is misunderstanding the situation.

Hey, I was right! Will tells her he hopes Nick stays in New York. Gabi has a look of … but … rock …. head … blood … backpack … old perv in woods.

So Theresa has the goods on JJ. Hopefully, her obvious blackmail demands will include some fun stuff, and not just scoring drugs. Let’s start with a naked run through the hospital.

Rafe is breaking up with Kate in the most hilariously passive-aggressive way possible. “I”m into this hot physical therapist, so I’m setting you free. But I’m doing it for you!”

AAAH! Sami and EJ are having a sex fight. She screams “there must be parts of this room we haven’t christened.” Well, certainly not the couch. Hey, what about Stefano’s portrait? She rips off her blouse, teases him to the brink, then slaps his face. Damn, she is working some Anna Nicole realness here.

So Gabi explains to Will about how Nick orchestrated the whole modeling job, and that she confronted him about it. Will is just glad he’s gone, and hopefully “he won’t show his face around here again.” Gabi tells him “I don’t think he will.”

Okay, God knows I love soap bad girls, but Theresa is just sour, unpleasant, and … not in any way fun.

Gabi is walking through the park, and see … Bloody Nick! Again! I hope Blake Berris is getting paid extra for all the time he’s had to spend getting that fake clotted blood applied to his head

Whoo! Sami and EJ are having a huge screaming fight, with expensive tchotchkes being thrown, and veins bulging. The hottest EJ is Angry EJ.

It turns out that bloody Nick is just regular old Tad. Okay, the only way they can salvage this is if Gabi starts seeing Bloody Nick in the faces of everyone she knows. First Tad, then say … Rafe, then … Little Johnny … and she has to run screaming every time she sees them.

Sonny arrives, and Will tells him he knows what’s going on with Gabi, Kate, and Sami. He knows that … oh dear … He knows that they’re planning … oh jeez … he knows that they’re planning a surprise party for him. Oh Will.

Sonny agrees. After all, Will’s birthday is coming up. Is Will’s birthday before New Years, or after? Because if it’s after, he might want to ask for early presents.

Gabi comes home, doesn’t bother checking to see if anyone is home, then makes a very loud phone call to Kate, telling her that Sonny and Will will be gone tomorrow, and The Unholy Trio can meet there to discuss the situation. Sonny overhears the entire conversation.

That’s it! Thanks for joining me. Tomorrow – Sonny does some sleuthing

80's Pop Culture Expert, Shooting At The Walls Of Heartache.