Liveblogging “Days Of Our Lives:” The Fellowship Of The White Slavery Ring

Will shares his good news about California with Sami. But is there something … sinister … about this sudden “opportunity?”

Unfortunately, No. It’s just a boring writing fellowship. But I like my idea better.

Oh, Ari, don’t we all want to drown in Sonny’s eyes

Theresa is dead! And JJ is shirtless! Is it my birthday?

Oh, Theresa has overdosed. JJ says “C’mon, you gotta wake up. I’m really into it, even without … my tongue in cheek?????” I must have misheard that.

Will is at the club with Ari, boozing it up. This girl is going to know how to make a tequila sunrise before she can crawl. Will tells her that he was a lousy writer until she came along, and she’s basically been his muse. He still doesn’t know if he should go to California, and spend that much time away from her and Sonny. Sonny walks up and says it’s going to be just as hard for him.

Hey look, there’s Granny Sami boozing it up, too. Meanwhile, Chad confesses to Abby that he lied to Cameron about having a brain tumor.

Doctor Dan has a terrible nightmare about being attacked by a demon. He walks into the bathroom and looks in the mirror … and utters “JENNIFER … JENNIFER … JENNIFER.” He screams as the demon reaches through the mirror and drags him to the pit of hell.

JJ is in his boxer shorts, and grabs his phone t … oh who cares … JJ is in his boxer shorts.

Will is still having doubts about going, but Sonny insists that he and Gabi can handle things. Besides, Sonny just bought Will a brand new hideous shirt for him to wear. Aww! I think He’ll need more than that, though Sonny . Yes, he’s going to need …

Sonny admits that he read Will’s essay, and Will is embarrassed. He’s never put himself out there like that, and is feeling vulnerable. Sonny is all Sonny, and smiles that Sonny smile. Will puts his hand over Sonny’s hand. And that was our WilSon sex scene for today.

Ejami are about to defile the DiMera mansion again with their angry copulation when, thankfully, Will and Sonny arrive with Ari.

JJ calls Dan to come over and help him with Theresa. In what I insist in believing is an acknowledgment to every DOOL fan, Theresa’s response at seeing Dan is to projectile vomit.

Will is adorably awkward as he explains the fellowship offer. His arm instinctively wraps around Sonny, and it’s just very natural and touching. Sami and EJ are happy for him, and Sami asks if she can read the essay. Will says “Yes, sometime,” and in a hilarious moment, Sami says “WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME?” and when Will says nothing, Sami is incredulous. “NOTHING?” She then coos to Ari “That’s crazy talk.” Oh Sami.

Dan orders JJ to leave and take any trace he was there with him. A HOTLY panicked JJ follows his orders. Dan drags Theresa into … THE SALEM COMMUNAL SHOWER.

Will and Sami have a heart-to-heart mother-son talk about relationships. It’s actually very touching … and more rare than a WilSon love scene … almost.

Will and Sonny are in Town Square talking about how much they’ll miss each other. They get a call that Gabi is helpd up and won’t be home for a couple of hours. And Ari is asleep. That means they have time to … you know. What? Order new coasters for the club? Scrub out Ari’s bottles? What?

That’s it! Thanks for joining me. We’ll be back next week.

80's Pop Culture Expert, Shooting At The Walls Of Heartache.