Magic Mike — By the Numbers

Hey dudes!

Rather than offer a review of Soderbergh’s magnum opus (there are plenty of those here and here), we thought we’d offer a numerical recap of the movie — note, some of the reporting may or may not be attributable to our intern who just came to us from the Wall Street Journal.

Number of full on, beefy male ass shots: 14

Number of times we see the outline of Channing Tatum’s peen: 1 (it flops when flaccid)

Number of guys shaving their legs and putting on self tanner moments: 2

Number of times a guy puts self tanner on another guy’s legs: 1

Number of gay subplots in a movie with big muscle bound male strippers: 0

Number of inches we are to led to believe Joe Manganiello’s penis is: 9-10

Number of times Alex Pettyfer sounds like he’s from Tampa, or ANY PART of the USA: 1 (and he has a little vomit in his mouth at the time)

Number of lines Matt Boomer has: 5 maybe 6 (One of which is: “do you like my wife’s tits, touch ’em, I don’t mind”)

Number of lines Joe Manganiello has: 2, maybe 3 (and during one he’s at the sewing machine fixing his gold lame thong)

Number of times we hear the line: “Wait, male strippers are just drug dealers in thongs!”: 0 (sadly)

Number of times anyone in the theater really laughed: 6

Number of people who look like Mannie the fat kid in Modern Family: 1

Number of people I know who will see it no matter what anyone tells them: hundreds

Channing Tatum Shirtless: A Photo History

Joe Manganiello Shirtless: A Photo History