Ready for Christmas? I’m not. Let’s all prepare together with nine Christmas tunes by nine gay dudes. There’s one bisexual and a couple of old-school closet types in the mix, but that just makes the whole list feel like a big disagreeable gay family to me. Love that.
Anthony Perkins, “The Christmas Song”
In the ’50s, big screen heartthrobs were morally obligated to produce records, and Anthony Perkins cut a few Christmas jams before Alfred Hitchcock boarded him up in the Bates Motel. Tony P. has such a sweet voice, doesn’t he? Perfect for wooing Tab Hunter into the sheets.
Elton John, “Step Into Christmas”
LOVE. THIS. Elton John makes Christmas a spastic, danceable event with “Step Into Christmas.” Hope you appreciate that this clip is apparently part of David Gest’s Christmas playlist, as the video indicates. The irony isn’t lost on me.
Liberace, “Christmas Medley”
Liberace was definitely un-out in his lifetime, but the important thing is his Christmas medley is gayer and more powerful than any denial. I’m holding my candelabra like a torch!
Johnny Mathis, “Winter Wonderland”
As I said in my Christmas balladeers post, Johnny Mathis nails the abject homosexuality of Christmas. The smooth timbre! The gleefulness! The fun! Grriiiiiiiiiin!
Neil Patrick Harris, “Deck the Halls”
This is a man who knows how to point out the word “gay” in a Christmas classic and make it cheeky as hell. That’s a reason NPH remains a major heart thief in the gay world. Harold and Kumar, step aside.
Boy George, “White Xmas”
Oh, HELL YES to this weird thing. Note the blippy electronics and the un-Irving Berlin macabre qualities Boy George brings to this trip. I picture Bing Crosby hearing this and immediately collapsing in a gay panic.
RuPaul “I Just Can’t Wait (’til Christmas)”
Thank you, Ru, for using “gay” in a Christmas song and actually meaning gay. There’s an elf at the North Pole who is crying in pride at this watershed moment.
Queen, “Thank God It’s Christmas”
I forget about Queen sometimes because boring straight people often use Queen fandom to feel cool, but “Thank God It’s Christmas” is one of my favorite yuletide go-tos. Freddie is just the definitive proclaimer, and therefore he makes Christmas feel like a totally kickass experience.
Wham!, “Last Christmas”
Obligation. Still: merry as hell.