By Lester Fabian Brathwaite
September 26, 2014 / 4:20 PM
Hollywood is still abuzz with the recent news that numerous female celebrities had their phones hacked and nude photos posted online. Some have wondered why there were no guys on the list of targeted stars.
In the spirit of gender equality Funny or Die posted a hilarious hypothetical rundown of what we'd see if male celebs had their phones hacked:
WILLIAM HURT: Nude, washing a wiener dog in a bucket. NICK NOLTE: Nude, struggling to get out of a leather barcalounger on a 90-degree day. BRADLEY COOPER: Nude, juggling devil sticks while riding a unicycle. WILL SMITH; Nude, reading script for After Earth and looking impressed. RYAN REYNOLDS: Sequence: Nude, eating ice cream sundae, then falling down a spiral staircase. WILL FERRELL: Clothed, for once. TOM HANKS: Nude, revealing several swastika tattoos. ED ASNER: Nude, engaged in passionate intercourse with Jessica Alba. STANLEY TUCCI: Nude, but somehow looks like he’s in on the whole thing with the viewer. GARY OLDMAN: Nude from waist down, scrubbing tile grout with toothbrush. RUSSELL CROWE: Nude, ruining large wedding cake. 
ROBERT DOWNEY, JR.: Nude, but impossible to tear eyes away from infuriating, rakish smirk.MIKE MEYERS: Nude, sleeping peacefully in lap of Fat Bastard costume. JOHNNY DEPP: Partially nude (only wearing 29 scarves). JASON BIGGS: Nude, looking at Jennifer Lawrence hacked nudes. PAUL SORVINO: Nude; appears to be mouthing, “Yeah, I’m fuckin’ nude. What the fuck you gonna do about it?” JEFF BRIDGES: Nude, on stage at the Academy Awards. LIAM NEESON:Partially nude, chasing small dog holding pants in its mouth. ORLANDO BLOOM: Nude; somehow even more boring. GEORGE CLOONEY: Nude, mid-prank in which he’s trying to get his testicles into a blindfolded Brad Pitt’s mouth. IDRIS ELBA: Fully clothed, but Good Jesus what an attractive man. 
