Man Sues Texas For The Right To Marry His Computer

Chris Sevier claims 'Obergefell v. Hodges' allows Americans to marry any person or thing they're attracted to.

Chris Sevier, the man who made headlines in 2014 when he asked the Florida government to recognize his marriage to his laptop computer, is now suing the state of Texas for the right to marry his computer again.

Under his own assumption that the Supreme Court’s Obergefell v. Hodges decision allows humans to marry literally any one or thing they’d like, Sevier has filed a lawsuit against the Harris County district clerk, Gov. Greg Abbott and Attorney General Ken Paxton for denying him the right to marry his Macbook.

“Essentially, he is trying to give courts an ultimatum,” the Houston Press reports. “Agree that this is what they have done and allow him to make vows to a piece of expensive chrome, or, realize that this is morally wrong and undo Obergefell.”

“The question is, should we have policies that encourage that kind of lifestyle?” Sevier asked the paper of same-sex marriage. “The state is not doing anyone any favors by encouraging people to live that lifestyle. We have to define marriage.”

He added: “[This lawsuit] is not a matter of who’s on the right side of history. This is about who is on the right side of reality. Are we just delusional?”

Sevier, according to Raw Story, has a history of mental illness attributed to his military service in Iraq, a police record that includes several stalking charges, and has previously sued Apple for not completely blocking Internet porn, which he has claimed caused him harm.

AG Ken Paxton, a strong supporter of same-sex marriage, responded to the ludicrous lawsuit in a motion to dismiss the case.

Said Paxton: “The right to marry one’s computer is not an interest, objectively, deeply rooted in the nation’s history and tradition such that it qualifies as a protected interest.”

Matthew Tharrett is a writer, filmmaker, and above all else, a Britney fan. He once shared a milkshake with Selena Gomez.
@mattharrett