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Mary Lambert On Finding Joy: "Nobody Can Go 100%, 24 Hours A Day, Trying To Dismantle The Patriarchy"

"In being present in the sh*t show, you’re hopefully also able to see the capacity of resilience in people, and the undying faith that so many people have that things are going to be okay.”

Mary Lambert has been a busy woman since 2012's breakout hit "Same Love": She's signed with (and left) a major label; released her debut album, Heart on My Sleeve; had a single ("Secrets") go to Number One on the Billboard Dance Charts; and crowdfunded a new EP, Bold, which debuted this month.

Maybe that's why, despite Lambert's penchant for raw, emotional, and often sad songs, much of Bold is surprisingly upbeat and pop-leaning.

"My natural aesthetic is sad gay," she says with a laugh. "The two most upbeat songs on Bold are both collaborations. But I have the range to write in many different spheres, and I also love pop music. So that also speaks to who I am and the complexity of me."

Step 1: coffee Step 2: destroy patriarchy

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Lambert has often spoken (and sung) candidly about her struggle with bipolar disorder, but embracing the lighter, optimistic parts of herself is part of her self-care. And that's essential given the current political climate.

"We’re definitely in a shit show in America right now," Lambert says, "and it’s imperative to keep your eyes open and stay aware of what's happening. But in being present in the shit show, you're hopefully also able to see the capacity of resilience in people, and the undying faith that so many people have that things are going to be okay."

"I think it's weird when someone doesn’t have mental illness or strange way of coping with the world," she adds. "Because we’re living in a climate and culture that is literally bananas. If you don't suffer from something, what aren't you seeing, where are you, how are you coping with what you are seeing?"

But, she says, it's important to find the joy, too.

"Nobody can go 100%, 24 hours a day, trying to dismantle the patriarchy or end white supremacy. You just cannot do it. It’s too exhausting. We all need a snack break or a nap at some point, man."

Or a pop song. Or a makeout session.

Three years ago, Lambert started dating musician Michelle Chamuel, who collaborated with Lambert on "Hang Out With You," and plays herself in the song's music video. Lambert says their relationship is a big part of Bold,'s optimism, both because of Chamuel's creative influence and the joy Lambert finds in their relationship.

"It's just really cool to have her in the fabric of my work, because she’s in the fabric of my life, and my heart."

Chamuel also did a remix for "Know Your Name" that's featured on Bold.

When I ask whether the pair are planning to get married—after all, one of her new tracks is titled "I'd Be Your Wife"—Lambert doesn't hesitate: "Yes, it’s definitely going to happen. It’s just a matter of finding the right time, balancing career and personal life, and deciding what to invest in first."

When I ask whether they hope to have kids, she gets even more excited: "Yes! Oh my God, yeah. I think I have two missions in life—to make a gay anthem and to have babies."

❤️DREAMBOAT ❤️

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Baby-making is likely a bit further down the road, though.

"It's not time yet," she confides. "I don't want to be one of those people that’s pregnant and touring, or having little babies at home while I’m at a festival. I want to do an Adele—I want go get pregnant and then just be a mom for a couple years."

Before then, there's a lot more work to be done—creatively and politically. Not just for her, but for all of us. Its incumbent upon everyone, she says, to figure out how they can contribute.

"I remember when the separate state bills for gay marriage were being debated. I was working three jobs at the time, and I’d signed up to be part of a phone bank to call people, but I had to cancel because I had my other job to do. I felt so bad—like I wasn't helping the community. But then when 'Same Love' fell in my lap, I felt like, 'Here’s something I can offer! Here’s a skill I have.' You have to ask, 'What skills can each of us use to further dismantle the bullshit?' That’s the biggest thing."

"You don't have to exhaust yourself and feel bad," she adds. "You should feel outraged, and you should feel angry. And maybe like, hurt, sometimes. But it should never feel bad to be doing good work."

Bold is out now on Tender Heart Records.

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